No I am not a boy!!!
I grew up in a small town in Michigan. I can remember at seven years old when a new girl moved into the neighborhood. I had a friend for many years and three became a crowd to the new girl. She had my friend take a strap from a lawn chair and hit me across the face. I could not understand what I had done and my mother never confronted the parents.
Mom was always whipping us. Yep her dad was a major abuser. One day was really a bad bruiser. I said I was leaving. When I came home later she said I thought you were not coming back. Mom’s sister was watching my brother and I one day and took us through the gates to the river. We sat down on the cement edge and dangled our feet over the water. She made comments like lots of kids fall in the river and it really scared me. One time I wanted to help at my grandmother’s and she said no. I was a kid and went to pick up a sponge in the bucket and she struck me hard across the face. She never did it again but, once was enough. I also experienced some sexual abuse. Everything seemed okay until fifth grade. Then I was teased about my last name constantly. Even a teacher joined in at one point. I wanted to be invisible so I could be left alone. I was a good student but, did not participate in classes because I did not want to bring notice to myself.
In high school there was one real bully that embarrassed me also. He also from what I saw bullied a friend of mine and I’m sure others. I wish I had the guts to report or confront him but, back then you just took what was dished out. I fell from being a good student to very poor performance.
I experimented with many drugs and alcohol. I couldn’t wait to get out of high school. Years later I asked my nephew once if he knew what a wallflower was he didn’t but, I explained. I told him I didn’t want to be the wallflower I wanted to be inside the wall.
So after all this stuff. I am who I was then. I have forgiven all these things, so I could be forgiven. We are all sinners, not one better than the other. Life’s trials bring you to the Lord who calls you. Nothing man does can get him to Jesus, to the Father. Mark 26-27 You realize finally when he calls you, there is no one else but, him who can save you. I was broken and lost, now I am whole and found.
The burden has been lifted as Jesus promises. Matthew 11:28-30 Now I belong to Jesus who has given me a new personality of his choosing, Amen, Lord Jesus, Come Quickly