We spent the weekend at my sister’s house in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. We are all born again Christians, expect my mom and my other nephew who is out-of-town. She takes affront to whatever we talk about. Sadly I see her rejection. I feel her rejection of the truth. What brought about this was that the pope says we need to stop talking about certain issues. You can go to heaven regardless of repenting or not. We need to move on to other issues. Even though the bible says you must repent of your sins, he does not press those truths. The Lord chooses who He wills, all types of sinners, to whatever degree. In other words all those that are spiritually transformed, God gives grace (forgiveness to whom he chooses). We don’t know why one is chosen over another. We don’t even know who the chosen are before their conversions. That is why He sent His apostles on their mission to make disciples of all nations and people. I am a sinner that should never see anything but, hell. Yet He gave me mercy. Whatever your sins are the door is open to you to repent and trust Him to transform your life. He knows all men’s hearts from the beginning. The question is will you know Him? Are you a called, a chosen, an elect Christian? If you are you will be spiritually transformed no matter your sins.
The pope is meeting with a group of ten imams of France to promote religious tolerance on Wednesday. I am just stating what the pope said. He is with the help of other deceivers, trying to join the world into one world of joined religions all welcome to worship their gods together. It is already happening. I for the truth revealed by God’s word (the Bible) trust Him because His word is perfect and true. Anyone who says He is not God, worships the prince of this world, satan. You cannot seek God, He decides if you are made for destruction or for His glory. He who has ears, let him hear.
I am having a very tough time now with my illness. I thought I was having a relapse and needed to be hospitalized. I tried to get to my therapist and she was out. I was crying and could not stop. I called my brother and he got me help. It took about and hour and was determined I had deep sadness and let it out. I have had several setbacks with my job and my family. I know I can’t have my family back but, I keep that hope alive in my heart. I know with the Lord anything is possible. So those tears came out in sheets ripped out of my broken heart. I think working too much, even though I loved the work, finally overwhelmed me. It was copacetic for me and was derailed thanks to my illness. I have to again take it slow and find something different the Lord has for me. I tried to concentrate on scripture and sermons yesterday. My mind just kept having racing thoughts, the what ifs, could it have been done in this way? Why didn’t I go back to my family even though I know it would not have worked? Why does a daughter, mother relationship have to end? Why can’t people help us cope too? Don’t they know that the mentally ill sometimes slip more than others? If they even think about that. I think about the healing miracles of the Lord in the Bible. Do I have one of those demons inside me? People say no that a child of Christ cannot. I just think I am being tormented with what he can use on me that old devil of old. My Lord is helping with might. I just hold that verse in Revelations 21:4, near my heart. No more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for all the former things have passed away. True and perfect promise from Our God Almighty.
My brother said we have had a hard year. Our dad died, job stuff, family estrangement, a big pileup upon me. I was listening to comforting Christian music, the words soothed me. I have been crocheting again to help. My mom made me promise to come to her if I feel that down. She says I help her she’ll help me, good combo. My brother said he would talk to me when I need it. God Bless him for being there. His wife is in the hospital with a kidney stone, severe pain, and they can’t get her a-fib to stabilize. All this and he took time for me. I felt guilty, my crash at a bad time for them. Well I have to see the crisis counselor today, same one from 2010. I made my mind up I won’t be back on Medicaid. I have good care where I go weekly to group. There is such a stigma about mental illness, but degeneration has produced what is. Man’s fall from obedience to the Lord and a few will find their way back. Matthew 7:13-14. I am in that few, that I can be sure of. I am striving as the Holy Spirit leads me, our helper. Never mind being a doubter too at times. I know it happens to us all. Anyway if I talk too much about me, this is my journal to stability. I don’t want pity. I want prayer for we must pray for and support our brothers and sisters in Christ around the world and those that don’t know him and are deceived. Anyway my personal thoughts for the start of just today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. I need to hold unto that. All that is going on in this awful world and I am just one little pea out of the pod that does not want to be here or belong here…We long for the Day of The Lord.
It is called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I find when I miss a day of reading, it is what I needed to hear that day.
Sample from the book: July 10
Relax in My Peaceful Presence
Do not bring performance pressures into our sacred space of communion. When you are with someone you trust completely, you feel free to be yourself. This is one of the joys of true friendship. Though I am Lord of lords and King of kings, I also desire to be your intimate Friend. When you are tense or pretentious in our relationship, I feel hurt. I know the worst about you, but I also know the best. I long for you to trust Me enough to be fully yourself with me, I am able to bring out the best in you: the very gifts I have planted in your soul. Relax and enjoy our friendship.
I was captivated by what they have done in the Lord. It is nothing for themselves. It is all for him. The Pierces spent 28 years in Ghana building and growing the church of the Lord. A local young converted christian gentleman went to missionary school and became the pastor. When all the Lord had them do was complete they came back. Now through their beliefs, they are going to Brazil with the same mission. We know that their mission will not be easy. Lord we pray that you will give them the support they need. In your name Jesus we pray. Read their story. If you decide to support you can go through paypal and designate to the Pierces mission.
Also truly inspiring are the Eversons. Brother Ben, is an amazing singer and artist for the Lord. He is learning spanish so that he is able to reach the people in their own language. In fact, he has a gentleman that will teach him spanish if he teaches him music ministry. I have not met his wife yet, but she sings also. At the time of his visit to our church, his family was coming back from Mexico. We all know Mexico is a very dangerous country. They will still be going back soon also. Support and prayers are needed for their mission also. Ben has several wonderful cd’s praising the Lord available. So you may support many ways.
How many times a day are you using God’s name in a trivial manner? Oh, but he does mind. I get so upset to hear this day in and day out. I try to explain that this not a simple little thing you do. It is huge. You are in the habit of using the Lord’s name like slang. It’s a bad habit that needs to be broken. It is not just for you but, for me too. I hear it. It gets said in my mind. My soul aches to hear you do this knowing that you are storing up The Wrath Of God upon yourself. Please stop, I truly pray you will. God is not watching TV, soap operas, baseball, football, the news and okaying your words of expression involving him. This is a bad habit. You need to break it like you have others that offend me. If you were a born again Christian, it would not take too long to have a cure. I pray you can understand. Praising and swearing come out of the same mouth. Romans 3:9-20
Just think about what you are saying. Think about those who are around you having to be exposed to these words. Oh, that my ears did not have to hear this. I can’t block it out. It is day in day out. I can’t count the times it is said. Don’t use Our Lord’s Name In Vain. Please Honor and Worship Him Only.
In Your Name Jesus Christ I pray for all sinning this way…and any other. Come to the Lord. He Can Only Save Your Soul. You need to trust him, repent to him, give your life to Him. That’s the only way your name is in the Book Of Life. He chooses, are you in there. I pray it is true.
I am off and running Praising God through Jesus, My Savior. It is his work now not mine. Joyful, Joyful I adore Him. Amen. Another Lord’s Day of Strength in him, Joy in Him, Love in Him, serving others as he servedus and died for us sinners. Prayfor all Christians in persecution around the world. Pray for all those in the world that they may realize God is ASovereign God. God is the Creator of all you see. He was, is will always be the same God. He does not change. You cannot have The Father without The Son, Jesus Christ. Nor The Son without The Father. There is only one wayThe Trinity. The Father, The Son, Jesus, The Holy Spirit Our helper.
Are you at rock bottom? I am, I was, I will always be. I mean that according to God’s Word we are all worthless. Only when he says we belong to him do we have worth to him. I used to care what others thought of me. It used to be the hardest thing to take criticism. Now I feel I can just let it go without anger. It is like why should I get angry about what they think? They have to be dealt with in the Lord’s time. I cannot judge them. Some are already judged. The problem for me is telling others what someone did to me. I am gossiping and need to let that one be taken care of too. I need to understand that everyone is created the way, he did it. I can’t change anyone. I just have to deal with it and let it flow into the background of my new life in Jesus. I do have to talk about it though in therapy. She asked if I was doing anything wrong in living my life? I said no but I was being gone too much. I was doing God’s work and always will. I had to find a happy medium for all of us (the family). It is my responsibility, the Lord put me here. So I have to remember that. I was here to be converted by him at the biggest lowest low of my life. I was broken many times. I started over many times without anything. This time he made me realize, he was all I had. I had nowhere to turn. It was death or life. He chose life for me for his own purpose. A purpose being fulfilled by him being every day. I have come to love his purpose for me. It is truly rewarding to not be off sinning purposely everyday. Instead I do feel a relief because I know I am obeying his purpose for me. Nothing is easy here, not anything. Just watching this world going down the tubes, disasters and wars, killing people to take over what, the world? I pray for all of them that God will open their eyes. Prayer does make a difference. Your personal relationship with the only God is the only way through Jesus Christ the only Savior. All this other stuff is superficial. You may not think the Bible is true. It is however, the best seller of all time. So do some people (God’s chosen people) have it wrong and you are right. We are the people who did not see Jesus in the flesh. We read every word about his suffering and death. Pray that you can know the truth. Pray that your eyes will not stay blind, pray that he will let you be able to read the truth. His Word flows off the pages to those who are chosen to see. That can be you. Don’t you just really need to satisfy that curiosity of what if? I searched before at a younger age. He did not call me until now. Because he knows the date and the time for everything always. If you read His Word and understand, it is all spelled out, everything. You cannot pick and choose what is true and what is not. Every word is true. You may not like it but, he states many times His Word is perfect and true. God the only God does not lie. The liar is the prince of darkness who deceives many some forever into eternity.
God blesses those who do his will for Him. I am a testimony, you are a testimony for that. From certain death with my mental illnesses. From not living to life in him. To a repairing of my marriage, slowly but surely. He does it not me. I gave it to him he has worked wonders. My life is his life. I lost it to gain it.