Bipolar and stable. I don’t think of being that too much anymore.

It’s hard to believe I have been back living in the U.S. for 8 years November 10. We can never see what is in store for us as children of God (even before we are saved) now and in the future. All I know is He guides me even when I am lazy (a lot these last few months). I am pretty much retired at 62. I still work about 30 hours a month. I keep focused on Him daily but, I know I am lacking. I broke my ankle a month ago. All this past year I have been making excuses to not go to church. Yes I got called in some Sundays. Mostly it is my sleeping clock. It is totally off.  I don’t wake up til 1:00 P.M. after going to sleep at 5:00 A.M. What can I do? Sometimes I take two Tylenol pm. If that doesn’t do it two more, and and then some zzz stuff and I am still awake. I listened to the book of Revelation last night, yup the whole book. We will see what tonight brings. Since Obamacare you can’t get benzos (temazapam). It worked the best. I remember telling my doctor I have to sleep and can’t not sleep (racing mind, bipolarity). So he gave me that.

I am going on a trip to Lebanon in September. I am looking forward to it. I will see my daughter and my husband. I have not been back since 2016 when he was so sick. I praise God he made it. God did it. He saved him and my daughter also through all of these trials of our life so far. I am taking a friend with me. I hope she gets better before we go. She is seventy-eight, says it’s her last hurrah. She has M.S. and this past year things are declining. I am willing but, she has to get stronger. Her knee gives out (getting a brace). Plus she may have to keep a catheter. We can’t have her sick while she is gone three weeks with me. I have all the handicap services ordered. I am mostly worried about her coming back alone. I am staying a month longer. So pray for her (not saved yet) that all will be well.

I am just so awed by God’s awesomeness. He is our rock and salvation. I was supposed to take this trip in May but all kinds of chaos cancelled the whole shebang. We had driven to Cleveland with my animals. Got to the airport an hour before the flight and they said no we could not get our bags to the plane (45 mins needed) on time. I would have put up a big stink had I known I was on standby for every flight thereafter (never said one word we were standby). I found out after waiting til 12 P.M. that there was no room. I could have taken another flight or rented a car. My connecting flight was at 7 P.M. from JFK. I was surprising my daughter on Mother’s Day. We were flying back with her to Lebanon on the same flights. So some things just don’t mesh and prices skyrocketed (after I bought my tickets in March). On well what can you do (american airlines never again) they don’t even answer complaints, no compassion, forget any response at all. One thousand dollars more for September, instead of four thousand and I could not reschedule the other flight hoping I would make it the next day. Don’t buy super-savers ever. It all adds up to economy coach anyway.  Just a funny, our bags went to New York without us on the 12 P.M. flight. So I paid for that and they delivered them a day later, yahoo. I enjoyed writing this. I went through weeks of depression when it happened. Looking back He got us through. Okay Lord,  I am praying this time all goes well. I am counting on you to get us away or not. Giving praise anyway you know what you are doing.

God Bless

Romans 8:28

And we know all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

An eventful life trusting Christ

Still life here goes on. Many blessings since the onset of my bipolar 1 illness. In 2010, I left Lebanon very ill. I left my daughter behind at fourteen and my husband of sixteen years. You see, I was very ill and they did not know how to help me. It was even more exasperated by, my doctor and a pharmacist, not being attentive enough on the drug doses. I was getting invega cut in half. It is not a pill that is scored so I was getting all the time release medication at once. This was extremely a bad time. Just a brief summary of how I was mismanaged. I also got toxic on lithium from weight loss.

I came back to the USA, a totally and completely broken person. Nothing else to do but die. In that despair, I cried Lord please help me. I believe fully in predestination. It was not of me or anything I could ever do. It was God knowing the time for me to be born again, saved. This life began again but, I was a child of God now. All the things from the past were no longer who I was. A way was needed to bring me to a glorifying Him, way to live. I met people at a center for mental illness and physical disabilities. I stayed going for several months. I overheard employees talking about Christians, “Why do they always have to talk about God?” If some one asks you anything about God, you will share the message of Jesus Christ Our Savior, God and Holy Spirit. Needless to say I left. I  got a job in a residential care home, screwed that up and was quite devastated again. My dad had died in 2012 of pancreatic cancer right before that. I also became a Hospice volunteer during that time. I was working at Penney’s next, and my brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and went to the Lord August of 2014. I lived with him until then. What faith he had. What wonderful direction he gave me in the truth, that Christ died for the elect. Not everyone saying Lord, Lord or saying a prayer is a born again Christian. If you are a Christian you show the light of Christ in you. You preach the Word, His word. You live a life that honors Him.

To the point of all this is to say. I made it through but, thank you Lord for carrying me, loving me, giving me a new life in you. Looking back I would never believe what was in store for my destructed family. After years of complete anger and disgust, and hateful words from them, slowly we came closer. My daughter has come to see me twice in the USA. She is a sophomore in college, doing very well. She is involved in many things and I know with the Lord, she will do His work. I also have continued in the home health care field and in volunteering.

In this past July, my ex-husband by divorce only, became very ill. I never wanted to divorce him but, pressure from family you know, money, inheritance, duh. Anyway he has PKD, poly cystic kidney disease. He had diverticulitis that needed surgery and a colostomy. He made it through and was back in the hospital with infection that would not stop. All this time many prayers were being said for him. Finally, I had to go there. They could not stop the infection that spread to his one kidney. He also has been on dialysis for six years. I got a lot of time to witness to him. He could have a died. I told him that he needed to trust God in everything. Later I told him to trust and give thanks in everything. He had made it through. They had to remove one of his kidneys because the infection had spread there. I stayed two months and came back.

This past two weeks, he has been back in the hospital with infection from the reversal of the colostomy. Another fifteen days finally beat that with a drain tube. The doctor may have poked his celiac nerve. He could not walk without extreme pain. Prayers, and more prayers. He did not have a permanent injury. Oh, and I forgot, his dad got in a car wreck while he was in there. He fractured his leg and totaled his car. They were in the same hospital room. No more driving for him at eighty-two.

So where is God? He is there whenever you call His name. Does he answer your prayers all at once? No way, maybe not all or the way you want. For me, all was answered for my family to be restored. It took six years. Whatever happens I trust. Whatever comes we persevere. When we die, it is absent from here and present with the Lord. Amen, Lord come for us.

Knowing your Gifts from God

  • As we are growing as Christians, God reveals to us our gifts through the Holy Spirit. Mine is helping others anyway I can. I feel so blessed to be made that way. Everyday I have joy knowing I am doing what I was meant to do.

I have been involved in many different areas of being a disciple of Christ. All of us need to know where we can let God’s light shine through us. Just our changed lives are a testimony to His Saving grace. The past five years as a born again Christian were of course full of  trials. Since we trust him in everything we don’t go to pieces and we learn how to overcome those trials and learn to endure.

I had a big one not to long ago. It messed with my medications. I needed to get refills and had to see the doctor first. I should have remembered myself to take care of that but, I forgot again… So in error by both the doctor and pharmacy, I was not given pills until my visit. I was only off one, but what a trial.. Anxiety ridden with highs and the lows. I never want to feel that way again. I felt like I was crying wolf to my Aunt but, I truly needed her help. Needless to say I got straightened out in a few days of being back on the one. This was also a wow moment. When I went to get it refilled, they had a refill still in my file. Yikes, I thought I would lose it. Everyone was retrained to look at all the screens. Praise to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I persevered.

My mission to do my job went on. I had one client that I was working too many hours for as a bipolar. Overwhelmed I believe the Lord was telling me to stop. Sadly, I did but I still regret I could not help her to know Christ and change her life. It is not us that can do that, only God can.

So as other big trials come we know as Christians He will fulfill His purpose in those trials. My mind fights me at times. When somethings hurt too bad, I can’t go back. I forgive them but, It becomes sadly a part of my red buttons for P.T.S.D. Then we think about all the pain and suffering our Lord, Jesus took upon Himself for our sins to redeem a people all His own. We can never surpass His sacrifices for us.

Thank You Lord for Your Mercy.

I have trust in You always.

And what about my sisters and brothers in Christ? They were there praying for me.

 

What’s expected next.

Christians will tell you all prophesies except the second coming of our Lord have come to pass. Before every knee bows, you will witness more terrible disasters you could ever even think of. The seven years of these times of terror are around the corner. This Christmas season look past the commercial Christmas. Our church saw little children presenting the true reason for Christmas. Amazing voices glorifying God.

I thought to myself, how many people know or even want to truly know Christ our King. It’s not a fairy tale people. It is the true word of God written down by men inspired by God himself. Stop saying the Bible is not all true. If you say that you are calling God a liar. If you say you are without sin, you are calling God a liar. If you say, I am a good person, and I think I will go to heaven on my own merits because I don’t hurt anyone, or I do good deeds for others that  look good, I am calling God a liar.

Here is what God says about all of us who say I am good enough.

Romans 3:10-18

There is none righteous, no not one; There is none who understands; Eccl 7:20

There is none who seeks after God.

They have all turned aside; They have together become unprofitable; There is none who does good, no not one.”

Their throat is an open tomb; With their tongues they have practiced deceit”, Ps 5:

The poison of asps is under their lips”. Ps 140:3

Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.” Ps 10:7

Their feet are swift to shed blood; destruction and misery are in their ways;

And the way of peace they have not known.” Isaiah 59:7, 8

There is no fear of God before their eyes.” Ps 36-1

I know that was me before He gave me grace through faith. Take the time to know your Savior Christ Jesus, Our Father, the Son and Holy Spirit within us. Don’t be mislead in this time of deceivers, those denying Christ. You can give them all your money. You can see how they are immensely rich on your money.  Why are they living their best life now? Because their eternity will be the worst life.

Read the parable of the Rich man and Lazarus. Luke 16:17-31.  I pray you understand these things God reveals unto His chosen. Don’t be eternally separated from God, heed His warnings through all true Christians taught by His true Word, the Bible. If you can,  let Him reveal the truth. And you will no longer be calling Him a liar.

May God bless you according to His will for your life. He knows your gifts to give others, in hopes and prayers they will see and believe as you will.

Continue reading

You miss them but, you know where they are.

I can hardly believe it has almost been a year since my brother went to the Lord. I think of him everyday. I know he suffered and persevered. I watched it. I don’t know if I really would be that strong with pancreatic cancer. I remember talking to him between (sorry graphic) barfing bile. Lord, Lord you gave him the strength, makes me want to cry, because I miss him. I think back on our relationship as kids and so forth. We were not that close. We were as many families, dysfunctional. Dad was abusive to them physically, but I know the mental aspect hurt the most. Mom was physically, and mentally abusive with me and them. My sister doesn’t remember anything at all like this. You know you look up to your parents and you follow what they do. Dad teased the heck out of him. His twin did it and I did it. (Reminds of when my daughter followed my husband’s disgust for me). Of course, I really do admit I was very ill. I would get upset and they did not know what to do. I guess bits and pieces are there in my memory somewhere. All I know is I felt destroyed. In that time of despair I felt loved by God. I did not understand until later I was trusting him to bring me through. Believe me it was all very terrible.

I was a baby Christian and I remember discovering things in my bible. That we will not need light in heaven because the Lamb and God would be the light. Wow! I went on to read Job. Giving me understanding of the evil satan, given his time to turn Job to curse God. Satan did terrible things to Job. His family was killed, his wealth gone, everyone saying to him you did something to deserve this. He had bolis on his feet and sat scraping them off with a potsherd, And God answered and told Job who do you think you are to question God, the creator. How do we think we deserve any answers? Not here not now, but The Holy Spirit resides within true Christians and that is our help. That is God with us.

There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever.

Job 2:6-8 New King James Version (NKJV)

And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your hand, but spare his life.”

So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord, and struck Job with painful boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took for himself a potsherd with which to scrape himself while he sat in the midst of the ashes.

My point to all this is my brother told me I was saved. He said I can’t believe this. He had thought to himself that it would never happen to me. So there you go. I am a sinner in more of a degree than others. In my young adult life, I had already said to myself, (my conscience) because we all have knowledge of good and evil:  You will never make it to heaven so why bother. If you are not called to salvation by God, through Jesus Christ the only way, You will perish.

Praise to God, the Father, The son, Jesus Christ, and the Helper, the Holy Spirit.

God Bless.

Don’t perish because we all know by our conscience..

Prayer is not always answered when and how we want.

Years for this and maybe days for that. When we pray in faith we know the Lord hears us and knows what we have need of. He is faithful to answer those prayers.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Walking in the Spirit

16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery,[c] fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders,[d] drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Faith though amazing grace. I have it do you? I had my thoughts and dreams and prayers of future wants and needs. Throughout four years He sustained me gave me strength in my weaknesses. I think back and know He was carrying me. I grew in faith and wisdom and am living this temporary life with Him. Amazingly I sat in church with my arm around my daughter on Easter. A beautiful woman she has become. She doesn’t know the truth of Christ yet. I know that the Lord will have His purpose in her. She is returning tomorrow to Lebanon and I know I will see her again here or in heaven.

So praise Him more and do His will. We will fail at times and yet know we have forgiveness. In everything give thanks. Amen and Amen!

P.S. Lena I meant to share this with you before now. It is so big and I have been so busy. See you soon to catch up.

God’s will for your life is…

My Pastor presented this to us in his message in January. I have been looking for it and found it today in my sermon notes.

God’s will for your life is not

1. Bad
2. Fixed
3. Lost
4. Revealed to others
5. Based on circumstances
6. Contrary to God’s word

God’s will for your life is

1. To be saved               2 peter 3:9
2. To be sanctified       1 Thess 4:3
3. To be spirit filled      Eph 5:17-18
4. To be submissive        1 Peter 2:13-15
5. To endure suffering    1 Peter 4:19
6. To serve                       Romans 12:1-3
7. To give you what you desire       Ps 37:4

God has many provisions in His will in our failures. Knowing His will for our life is by His word.

Thanks Pastor Mark

God Bless!

 

Committed, are You?

I am stressing the importance of total committed faith in the Lord. I attend a small church. We need more involvement from our members. When Christ is your Savior it is very important to be a light that shows others; I am not just attending church on Sunday only. Most of us have a prayer night or bible study night to attend. Sad to say mostly the same members are involved in Awana, youth group and prayer group. Don’t get me wrong this is not the case with all our Christian churches.

Some older people would like to come but, we should offer if possible to bring them. Maybe they cannot come, if they are ill or shut ins. Maybe they are parents working late or they just need to realize how important this is for their children. We can make many excuses. Every week buses go and pick up youth and children who can meet at a central location.

This is not about you only.This about our children’s generation. Who is going to help them to know the Lord as their Savior? What will they pass on to the next generation and so on? It’s a parent that is faithful to the Lord’s plan that will influence them. If we don’t tell them will they every know about anything but, this fallen world. There is a heaven and a hell. You are their example. We will all stand accountable on that day of judgement, every one of us… Make a difference get involved in your church. Remember that is how the truth that Christ is the only way to heaven gets passed down from generation to generation. Be committed to Christ’s our Lord’s plan today.

God Bless!

Promises that cannot be broken this day and forward.

Everyone of these verses can be read in context by reading the whole chapter. I don’t know about you but, these are the promises I could never see or hear myself. Only by God’s mercy can we read, see, and hear the truth. Everyone who inherits heaven through Christ who shed his blood for our sins on the cross will understand these promises. If you read them could it be that you may understand? I just pray that to you this is not all foolishness.

1 Corinthians 1:18-19

For the message of God is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written:

“I will destroy the wisdom
of the wise,
And bring to nothing the
understanding of the prudent.”

1 Corinthians 1:26-31

Glory only in the Lord

For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put shame on the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God–and righteousness and sanctification and redemption–that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.”

Genesis 12:1-3

Promises to Abraham

Now the Lord had said to Abram: “Get out of your country, From your family And from your father’s house, To a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you And make your name great; And you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, And I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

John 14:4-16

Jesus Promises another Helper

If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. “If you love Me, keep My commandments.  And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—

Romans 9:3-5

For I could wish that I myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my countrymen according to the flesh, who are Israelites, to whom pertain the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the service of God, and the promises of whom are the fathers and from whom, according to the flesh, Christ came, who is over all, the eternally blessed God. Amen

Romans 15:7-9

Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God. Now I say that Jesus Christ has become a servant to the circumcision for the truth of God, to confirm the promises made to the fathers, Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also received us to the glory of God

2 Corinthians 1:19-22

For  the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me, Silvanus, and Timothy—was not Yes and No, but in Him was Yes. For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us is God, who also has sealed us and given us the Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.

2 Corinthians 7:1-3

Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. Open your hearts to us. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have cheated no one. I do not say this to condemn; for I have said before that you are in our hearts, to die together and to live together.

Galatians 3:15-17

Brethren, I speak in the manner of men: Though it is only a man’s covenant, yet if it is confirmed, no one annuls or adds to it. Now to Abraham and his Seed were the promises made. He does not say, “And to seeds,” as of many, but as of one, “And to your Seed,” who is Christ. And this I say, that the law, which was four hundred and thirty years later, cannot annul the covenant that was confirmed before by God in Christ, that it should make the promise of no effect.

Galatians 3:20-22

Now a mediator does not mediate for one only, but God is one.  Is the law then against the promises of God? Certainly not! For if there had been a law given which could have given life, truly righteousness would have been by the law.  But the Scripture has confined all under sin, that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe.

Hebrews 6:11-14

And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end see that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself,  saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”

Hebrews 7:5-7

And indeed those who are of the sons of Levi, who receive the priesthood, have a commandment to receive tithes from the people according to the law, that is, from their brethren, though they have come from the loins of Abraham; But he whose genealogy is not derived from them received tithes from Abraham and blessed him who had the promises. Now beyond all contradiction the lesser is blessed by the better.

Hebrews 8:4-13  

For if He were on earth, He would not be a priest, since there are priests who offer the gifts according to the law; who serve the copy and shadow of the heavenly things, as Moses was divinely instructed when he was about to make the tabernacle. For He said,“See that you make all things according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.” But now He has obtained a more excellent ministry, inasmuch as He is also Mediator of a better covenant, which was established on better promisesBecause finding fault with them, He says: “Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judahnot according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt; because they did not continue in My covenant, and I disregarded them, says the Lord. 10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 11 None of them shall teach his neighbor, and none his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them. 12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” 13 In that He says, “A new covenant,” He has made the first obsolete. Now what is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to vanish away.

Hebrews 11:12-14

Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born as many as the stars of the sky in multitude—innumerable as the sand which is by the seashore. These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.

Hebrews 11:16-18

But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them. By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises offered up his only begotten son,

Hebrews 11:32-34

And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.

2 Peter 1:2-4

Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

Life with the Lord is now and forever.

God Bless!

I pray He finds you today ready for His mercy. Amen!

And we know this that scoffers will come.

2 Peter 3:1-18

Yes, some things that are happening now have happened before but, they are happening more and more. I see it do you? We have people demonstrating against the police. We have so many, many, uh natural disasters. Our government and other countries’ governments are going kaput. Not to mention the wars, diseases, pestilences unleashed.

In every generation we are told to watch and be ready for the return of Christ. Every generation of Christians have awaited His return.

In the bible in His words, Jesus answers:  “Now as He sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign of Your coming and the end of the age?” Our hopes as Christians is that you desire to know? Matthew 24:3; Mark 13: 3, 4; Luke 21:7. Jesus gives a complete answer in the same gospels and goes on to forewarn us of what  will be. Mathew 24:4-31; Mark 13:5-27; Luke 21:7-28.

I am not going to write this all down because everyone in this world does or will have heard His words. Many of those being you that have a bible in your own home. I can encourage you to open and read it. And all true Christians encourage you to search the scriptures. Don’t believe that there is one on earth that is your leader because they are just men and women, sinners like us. They have no authority over the bible to tell you what it says and you should never take their words to interpret them for you. Yes, we have teachers, preachers, disciples now and where do they preach the true infallible word from? The Bible.

This Christmas and now forward seek and find the truth and truly it does set you free. John 8:31-36

Have a Blessed Christmas!!!