An eventful life trusting Christ

Still life here goes on. Many blessings since the onset of my bipolar 1 illness. In 2010, I left Lebanon very ill. I left my daughter behind at fourteen and my husband of sixteen years. You see, I was very ill and they did not know how to help me. It was even more exasperated by, my doctor and a pharmacist, not being attentive enough on the drug doses. I was getting invega cut in half. It is not a pill that is scored so I was getting all the time release medication at once. This was extremely a bad time. Just a brief summary of how I was mismanaged. I also got toxic on lithium from weight loss.

I came back to the USA, a totally and completely broken person. Nothing else to do but die. In that despair, I cried Lord please help me. I believe fully in predestination. It was not of me or anything I could ever do. It was God knowing the time for me to be born again, saved. This life began again but, I was a child of God now. All the things from the past were no longer who I was. A way was needed to bring me to a glorifying Him, way to live. I met people at a center for mental illness and physical disabilities. I stayed going for several months. I overheard employees talking about Christians, “Why do they always have to talk about God?” If some one asks you anything about God, you will share the message of Jesus Christ Our Savior, God and Holy Spirit. Needless to say I left. I  got a job in a residential care home, screwed that up and was quite devastated again. My dad had died in 2012 of pancreatic cancer right before that. I also became a Hospice volunteer during that time. I was working at Penney’s next, and my brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and went to the Lord August of 2014. I lived with him until then. What faith he had. What wonderful direction he gave me in the truth, that Christ died for the elect. Not everyone saying Lord, Lord or saying a prayer is a born again Christian. If you are a Christian you show the light of Christ in you. You preach the Word, His word. You live a life that honors Him.

To the point of all this is to say. I made it through but, thank you Lord for carrying me, loving me, giving me a new life in you. Looking back I would never believe what was in store for my destructed family. After years of complete anger and disgust, and hateful words from them, slowly we came closer. My daughter has come to see me twice in the USA. She is a sophomore in college, doing very well. She is involved in many things and I know with the Lord, she will do His work. I also have continued in the home health care field and in volunteering.

In this past July, my ex-husband by divorce only, became very ill. I never wanted to divorce him but, pressure from family you know, money, inheritance, duh. Anyway he has PKD, poly cystic kidney disease. He had diverticulitis that needed surgery and a colostomy. He made it through and was back in the hospital with infection that would not stop. All this time many prayers were being said for him. Finally, I had to go there. They could not stop the infection that spread to his one kidney. He also has been on dialysis for six years. I got a lot of time to witness to him. He could have a died. I told him that he needed to trust God in everything. Later I told him to trust and give thanks in everything. He had made it through. They had to remove one of his kidneys because the infection had spread there. I stayed two months and came back.

This past two weeks, he has been back in the hospital with infection from the reversal of the colostomy. Another fifteen days finally beat that with a drain tube. The doctor may have poked his celiac nerve. He could not walk without extreme pain. Prayers, and more prayers. He did not have a permanent injury. Oh, and I forgot, his dad got in a car wreck while he was in there. He fractured his leg and totaled his car. They were in the same hospital room. No more driving for him at eighty-two.

So where is God? He is there whenever you call His name. Does he answer your prayers all at once? No way, maybe not all or the way you want. For me, all was answered for my family to be restored. It took six years. Whatever happens I trust. Whatever comes we persevere. When we die, it is absent from here and present with the Lord. Amen, Lord come for us.

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We pray others will know God’s Grace.

It is not by us they come to know the truth. That will never stop us from sharing the truth. How many times do we hear the Bible was written by men? How many times do we hear, it is just a fairy tale? We can’t count. We are sad that many will never know the truth. He knows who are His and who are not. We know many in our families are in religious cults,

http://so4j.com/cults-and-false-religions

Who can break that person from it, Only God. Keep praying and witnessing of the truth, no matter.

How many times do we hear I am a good person? Too many.

Romans 3:10-18

10As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

11There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.

12They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

13Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips:

14Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness:

15Their feet are swift to shed blood:

16Destruction and misery are in their ways:

17And the way of peace have they not known:

18There is no fear of God before their eyes.

 

All true Christians are praying you will come to know the only Savior Jesus Christ, The truth, the way the life. In no other is there salvation.

Acts 4:10 – 4:13

10 Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, [even] by him doth this man stand here before you whole.

11 This is the stone which was set at nought of you builders, which is become the head of the corner.

12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

Why do we do what we do as Christians?

We as born again Christians, are being sanctified by God as we grow in our knowledge because of His grace only. I mentioned today at bible study that we cannot know most times if we have with the Lord helped to plant a seed that leads to saving grace. So every opportunity needs to be taken to spread the good news of His Grace through the sacrifice of Jesus, His only begotten Son who died for those who will believe.

Knowing your Gifts from God

  • As we are growing as Christians, God reveals to us our gifts through the Holy Spirit. Mine is helping others anyway I can. I feel so blessed to be made that way. Everyday I have joy knowing I am doing what I was meant to do.

I have been involved in many different areas of being a disciple of Christ. All of us need to know where we can let God’s light shine through us. Just our changed lives are a testimony to His Saving grace. The past five years as a born again Christian were of course full of  trials. Since we trust him in everything we don’t go to pieces and we learn how to overcome those trials and learn to endure.

I had a big one not to long ago. It messed with my medications. I needed to get refills and had to see the doctor first. I should have remembered myself to take care of that but, I forgot again… So in error by both the doctor and pharmacy, I was not given pills until my visit. I was only off one, but what a trial.. Anxiety ridden with highs and the lows. I never want to feel that way again. I felt like I was crying wolf to my Aunt but, I truly needed her help. Needless to say I got straightened out in a few days of being back on the one. This was also a wow moment. When I went to get it refilled, they had a refill still in my file. Yikes, I thought I would lose it. Everyone was retrained to look at all the screens. Praise to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I persevered.

My mission to do my job went on. I had one client that I was working too many hours for as a bipolar. Overwhelmed I believe the Lord was telling me to stop. Sadly, I did but I still regret I could not help her to know Christ and change her life. It is not us that can do that, only God can.

So as other big trials come we know as Christians He will fulfill His purpose in those trials. My mind fights me at times. When somethings hurt too bad, I can’t go back. I forgive them but, It becomes sadly a part of my red buttons for P.T.S.D. Then we think about all the pain and suffering our Lord, Jesus took upon Himself for our sins to redeem a people all His own. We can never surpass His sacrifices for us.

Thank You Lord for Your Mercy.

I have trust in You always.

And what about my sisters and brothers in Christ? They were there praying for me.

 

You miss them but, you know where they are.

I can hardly believe it has almost been a year since my brother went to the Lord. I think of him everyday. I know he suffered and persevered. I watched it. I don’t know if I really would be that strong with pancreatic cancer. I remember talking to him between (sorry graphic) barfing bile. Lord, Lord you gave him the strength, makes me want to cry, because I miss him. I think back on our relationship as kids and so forth. We were not that close. We were as many families, dysfunctional. Dad was abusive to them physically, but I know the mental aspect hurt the most. Mom was physically, and mentally abusive with me and them. My sister doesn’t remember anything at all like this. You know you look up to your parents and you follow what they do. Dad teased the heck out of him. His twin did it and I did it. (Reminds of when my daughter followed my husband’s disgust for me). Of course, I really do admit I was very ill. I would get upset and they did not know what to do. I guess bits and pieces are there in my memory somewhere. All I know is I felt destroyed. In that time of despair I felt loved by God. I did not understand until later I was trusting him to bring me through. Believe me it was all very terrible.

I was a baby Christian and I remember discovering things in my bible. That we will not need light in heaven because the Lamb and God would be the light. Wow! I went on to read Job. Giving me understanding of the evil satan, given his time to turn Job to curse God. Satan did terrible things to Job. His family was killed, his wealth gone, everyone saying to him you did something to deserve this. He had bolis on his feet and sat scraping them off with a potsherd, And God answered and told Job who do you think you are to question God, the creator. How do we think we deserve any answers? Not here not now, but The Holy Spirit resides within true Christians and that is our help. That is God with us.

There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever.

Job 2:6-8 New King James Version (NKJV)

And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your hand, but spare his life.”

So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord, and struck Job with painful boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took for himself a potsherd with which to scrape himself while he sat in the midst of the ashes.

My point to all this is my brother told me I was saved. He said I can’t believe this. He had thought to himself that it would never happen to me. So there you go. I am a sinner in more of a degree than others. In my young adult life, I had already said to myself, (my conscience) because we all have knowledge of good and evil:  You will never make it to heaven so why bother. If you are not called to salvation by God, through Jesus Christ the only way, You will perish.

Praise to God, the Father, The son, Jesus Christ, and the Helper, the Holy Spirit.

God Bless.

Don’t perish because we all know by our conscience..

Prayer is not always answered when and how we want.

Years for this and maybe days for that. When we pray in faith we know the Lord hears us and knows what we have need of. He is faithful to answer those prayers.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Walking in the Spirit

16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery,[c] fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders,[d] drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Faith though amazing grace. I have it do you? I had my thoughts and dreams and prayers of future wants and needs. Throughout four years He sustained me gave me strength in my weaknesses. I think back and know He was carrying me. I grew in faith and wisdom and am living this temporary life with Him. Amazingly I sat in church with my arm around my daughter on Easter. A beautiful woman she has become. She doesn’t know the truth of Christ yet. I know that the Lord will have His purpose in her. She is returning tomorrow to Lebanon and I know I will see her again here or in heaven.

So praise Him more and do His will. We will fail at times and yet know we have forgiveness. In everything give thanks. Amen and Amen!

P.S. Lena I meant to share this with you before now. It is so big and I have been so busy. See you soon to catch up.

God’s will for your life is…

My Pastor presented this to us in his message in January. I have been looking for it and found it today in my sermon notes.

God’s will for your life is not

1. Bad
2. Fixed
3. Lost
4. Revealed to others
5. Based on circumstances
6. Contrary to God’s word

God’s will for your life is

1. To be saved               2 peter 3:9
2. To be sanctified       1 Thess 4:3
3. To be spirit filled      Eph 5:17-18
4. To be submissive        1 Peter 2:13-15
5. To endure suffering    1 Peter 4:19
6. To serve                       Romans 12:1-3
7. To give you what you desire       Ps 37:4

God has many provisions in His will in our failures. Knowing His will for our life is by His word.

Thanks Pastor Mark

God Bless!