Living an intentional life.

I listen to Family Life radio and they talk about this all the time. With the Lord we have his intention, purpose for our lives. We pray every day for his will for us. We become who we should be, caring about others and seeing what we can do to help. We pray for all. We have peace in His Word and find joy in our days. We may stumble in his purpose at times but, that is not because of him. It is the sin abundant in this world. We are not of this world. We belong to the Church of Christ, not a building. We are teachers, disciples, cross bearers of his truth. It is trials, that make us stronger and it is our flesh that fights against the Holy Spirit in us. We cannot shed that part of ourselves until He comes again. We do wait and are ready because we see this world falling apart. So many ways this is occurring and people love to explain it away. Earthquakes, severe flooding, storms, fires, morals are deteriorating more and more. Not to mention the whole Middle East is warring. Killing their own and threatening to kill all Israelis, God’s chosen people. Jesus, his lineage is traced back to the tribe of Judah from where the High priest will come to take vengeance and reestablish his people with new hearts.

Hebrews 7:11-28, Psalms 110:1-8, Romans 11

Jesus went willingly to the cross for all that would believe in Him to bring salvation to the world. He knows all our hearts and minds. He will be our High Priest forever.

Are you a person that accepts things, as just the way it is or do you fear God’s coming wrath upon this world? Do you explain away disasters coming upon this world? Remember God destroyed the whole of mankind in the flood in Genesis. He only saved Noah, his wife, his three sons, their wives and two, male and female of every species he had created. Two by two they went into the ark as God had commanded. The flood was on the earth forty days. Only Noah and those who were with him in the ark remained alive. And the waters prevailed on the earth one hundred fifty days. Genesis 7:1-24

Why did he do this? He saw all men were evil continuously. Genesis 6:5

He let the whole generation that came from Egyptian captivity die in the desert because they did not believe and were disobedient, and complainers, idolators. Only their descendants came into the promised land, with Joshua and Caleb after wandering forty years in the wilderness. Numbers 14:26-35

God was with them always, giving them manna from heaven, quail to eat, still they did not believe and be obedient. Exodus 16:11-35

One sin not repented can send you to hell if don’t believe, Jesus is the only way to God. Nothing of ourselves can save us. If you don’t give your life to the Lord Jesus, you cannot know the Father, God. Without God’s Grace through faith you will enter by the wide gate to hell. He told his apostles, disciples, beware of the pharisees, the priests, the scribes, the Sadducees. All their man-made righteous acts and rituals are nothing. They are men trying to get to heaven on their own merits. Don’t let yourselves be misled. These God mockers have been spoken of from the beginning. Jude 1-25

They will deceive many because they belong to their father, the devil.  They are the devil’s evil angels, pretenders of light and they are all darkness. John 8:1-59

Living an intentional life is all of the above. You strive to enter the narrow gate. You pray, read your Bible daily, trust in God for answers and guidance through His Word and the (indwelling) Holy Spirit. If you have not you do not know Jesus.

Starting Over.

I can look at my life in hindsight and say, ” I started over so many times through all the mistakes, wrong choices”. My mom always told me I was a woman who loved too much (it is a book I read once). I am and will always be that woman. In my life, I lived trying to fulfill my heart’s desires. There was no filling it with this world. Through my breakups and messes somehow the Lord had me going on. Oh yes, many times even young I thought about what if I wasn’t here would anyone notice. I was being broken over and over and did not repent of my sins. Ultimately and amazingly His Grace through faith saved me.

I still love my family now, but in a different way. I love them to become the Lord’s, to be saved. For all husbands, all daughters, sons, grandchildren, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc to be saved. And we know not all will be saved, sadly. I may never be back in the physical life with them but, they cannot stop me loving them. I hope, pray and believe.

“Who than can be saved?” “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:25-26

We can’t start over in this world in the flesh. We do get a new heart, in believing by faith through the Grace of God that Jesus (God with Us, Emmanuel) died for our sins so that we could be forgiven. He rose on the third day and ascended into heaven from the Mt. of Olives. He will come again in Glory, returning to the same Mt. of Olives. All will know that He is Lord of Lords and King of Kings, God Almighty.

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world–our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God? 1 John 4-5

This is He who came by water and blood–Jesus Christ; not only by water, but water and blood. And it is the Spirit who bears witness, because the Spirit is truth. For there are three that bear witness in heaven: The Father, The Word, and the Holy Spirit and these three are one. And there are three that bear witness on earth: the Spirit, the water, and the blood; and these three agree as one. 1 John 6-8. There is more in His Word if you want to finish reading it in 1 John.

So you can go your (own way to destruction) or His Way. I am not saying that we won’t suffer more but, we have him to help us through. Because he will never give us more than we can handle when we trust Him only. I will never have to start over again and I am trusting in him.

God’s Sovereignty covers all.

If you think you are in control of your life you are not. If you think the presidential election was in the control of the people it wasn’t. If you think these terrorists and deniers of God are in control they are not. If you think creation was created by itself it wasn’t. It’s God’s sovereignty, his creation. How can you look around and see everything in such perfect order? Before a man is his desire to be his own god. Man wanting to believe he is his own ruler over his life. Even by all the  knowledge of man this world is passing away and messed up. Yes there are earthquakes, hurricanes, floods by earth’s causes and disasters man-made and hate and wars, evildoers. There was nothing lacking in the paradise Adam and Eve were given. Yet they were deceived to believe God was not sovereign. I have seen because he let me that he is sovereign over my life and I give it wholly to him. Because if I did not I would go where no one ever wants to go. There is a Heaven and there is a hell. If you go to hell before the second coming (die without true repentance and obedience to our one and only God, through Jesus Christ), you will be at the throne of judgement and cast into the eternal pit of fire without God. You will know his sovereignty then. Even if you should be alive at his second coming and not believe the only way to God is through Jesus Christ, his only begotten Son. The same will happen to you then. There is inside everyone a light (conscience) that knows there is our One and Only God. When you stand at judgement and deny you didn’t know, you did make a choice. Because all around us is his creation from the beginning. Denying God is hellfire for eternity. Your conscience given by him inside tells you. He is there and was and always will be God, for eternal life in heaven or eternity in hell.

So be your own god of your riches here or other gods, or paganism, or all kinds of idols and religions that do not honor our God. Repent to the one and only Sovereign God. Amen. I pray for all, heeding His Word (The Bible) and not heeding.

We really can’t blame anyone but ourselves.

For one thing I did vote despite my desire not to. I even repented casting it. I felt like I was choosing between men as usual saying whatever to get elected. Both do not know the Christ Jesus we know. Sorry people you cannot add extra books to the Bible and think it is okay. Rev 22:18. Both have a derailed idea of Christianity. God says he hates idolatry, perversion, murders, liars, deniers of his sovereignty. Noah preached over a hundred years for repentance of the people while following God to build the Ark. God destroyed the earth with a flood for this in Genesis. He saved Noah and his family only. Then Lot was saved from Sodom and Gomorrah with Abraham pleading with God if you find fifty righteous men will you spare the city. Well one was found and his two daughters. The rest destroyed by fire and brimstone. The city was so depraved that the angels sent to Lot were sought carnally by the old and young men alike they surrounded the house. The angels blinded them.

Well from the time of creation after Adam’s fall, and through the above mentioned we have continued toward those ways again, all depravity is excepted. I am not judging anyone. I am also depraved, since no one seeks after God, not one. He chooses his own and they hear him and he hears them. This is all in the Bible, plus much, much more. We are spiraling down to the worst again. The signs of the Lord’s wrath upon the world have started just the birth pangs. If you don’t see that now you will in his time, not ours. So I implore you to study, open the Bible and pray you can understand the Words of the Lord. Repent your sins. There is only one right choice Jesus Christ. He suffered, died and rose from the dead to free us from sin. Only if we grab hold of his free gift of Grace by Faith. Is it being offered to you? Yes to all!  I pray you let that door of you heart open to him and repent your sins. He died to cover them. The worst is yet to come, he told us so.

So pray for all and never stop because by his own words we know what happens on the last day.

We can’t know God’s complete plan for us.

It’s a trial and error sort of thing for me. I know God is not  going to just drop in my lap what he wants me to do. I do know that one part of his passion and love for me is being fulfilled. I can’t stay in the blame game for myself to why things happen the way they do. I can only move forward with what this day will bring. I trust him. I wish I still had the job I had. I could have still had it. I just could not take the presumptions about me from others (unbelievers) I should have been able to stand fast take my lumps and continue because I loved what I did. I just really believe that people can truly misinterpret and  will hurt you and they don’t even know you. They judge. They don’t know I have P.T.S.D and bipolar1. If they had I hope they would have backed off. All I was trying to do was calm my girly girly as I always can and have. Instead because of the shame I quit. The shame of it all on my record for a year.

All I know is that his hand is holding mine. He feels my pain. His pain and suffering I can never even come close to. He died for us sinful lost people. He chose who he wanted to know him personally and through him we know the Father,  (Abba). How comforting that is? His Holy Spirit is in me. It is okay for me to still break and cry and feel lost. After all the trials we go through make us cling to him all the more.

Today is a new day. I just finished my group therapy. It always helps. I believe this form of therapy is the best for me. I complained (grumbled) a while back about it. I do need it. It is other beautiful ladies with their own trying times us helping each other.

I do have a job interview today for part-time position. I realized with my illness I can’t work full-time. Besides it takes away from my volunteer work. I will not have that happen. So the Lord as always has me lean on him. He is sovereign over my life in all this life here and forever.

I am A born again creature in Jesus Christ, growing in his spirit daily.

Trust him, he is always there. Through the bad and good. I know it, you know but, sometimes we want to get lost in the pain AGAIN.

I always have the Lord to hold me.

I am having a very tough time now with my illness. I thought I was having a relapse and needed to be hospitalized. I tried to get to my therapist and she was out. I was crying and could not stop. I called my brother and he got me help. It took about and hour and was determined I had deep sadness and let it out. I have had several setbacks with my job and my family. I know I can’t have my family back but, I keep that hope alive in my heart. I know with the Lord anything is possible. So those tears came out in sheets ripped out of my broken heart. I think working too much, even though I loved the work, finally overwhelmed me. It was copacetic for me and was derailed thanks to my illness. I have to again take it slow and find something different the Lord has for me. I tried to concentrate on scripture and sermons yesterday. My mind just kept having racing thoughts, the what ifs, could it have been done in this way? Why didn’t I go back to my family even though I know it would not have worked? Why does a daughter, mother relationship have to end? Why can’t people help us cope too? Don’t they know that the mentally ill sometimes slip more than others? If they even think about that. I think about the healing miracles of the Lord in the Bible. Do I have one of those demons inside me? People say no that a child of Christ cannot. I just think I am being tormented with what he can use on me that old devil of old. My Lord is helping with might. I just hold that verse in Revelations 21:4, near my heart. No more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for all the former things have passed away. True and perfect promise from Our God Almighty.

My brother said we have had a hard year. Our dad died, job stuff, family estrangement, a big pileup upon me. I was listening to comforting Christian music, the words soothed me. I have been crocheting again to help. My mom made me promise to come to her if I feel that down. She says I help her she’ll help me, good combo. My brother said he would talk to me when I need it. God Bless him for being there. His wife is in the hospital with a kidney stone, severe pain, and they can’t get her a-fib to stabilize. All this and he took time for me. I felt guilty, my crash at a bad time for them. Well I have to see the crisis counselor today, same one from 2010. I made my mind up I won’t be back on Medicaid. I have good care where I go weekly to group. There is such a stigma about mental illness, but degeneration has produced what is. Man’s fall from obedience to the Lord and a few will find their way back. Matthew 7:13-14.  I am in that few, that I can be sure of. I am striving as the Holy Spirit leads me, our helper. Never mind being a doubter too at times. I know it happens to us all. Anyway if I talk too much about me, this is my journal to stability. I don’t want pity. I want prayer for we must pray for and support our brothers and sisters in Christ around the world and those that don’t know him and are deceived. Anyway my  personal thoughts for the start of just today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. I need to hold unto that. All that is going on in this awful world and I am just one little pea out of the pod that does not want to be here or belong here…We long for the Day of The Lord.

Thorns, I have two and they keep afflicting me.

My Pastor knows my afflictions with mental illness. He was preaching on meditating on these things. Whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, are of good report, if there is anything of virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me do, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9. Peace be with you and me brothers and sisters.