Always search for answers in the bible.

I am having a very hard time getting over an incident with my brother and myself. I am hurt and I should be able to slough it off. In fact, I should have been able to slough it off and never let it happen. I know I am not perfect. None of us will be until be meet our Lord when He returns for us. I am in the ashamed stage now. I am praying about it, and it still I cannot release it. I have tried to get peace over it but, can’t yet. I just cannot go in detail for the Lord  knows and my family.

How should it be when a Christian is dying? If they are angry and not wanting to leave this world, what does that mean? Could it be doubt of salvation, the pain of going through your disease? Any type of cancer, or disease is tremendous suffering unto death (which Christians understand is the body going to sleep and being present with the Lord). I met a another Christian gentleman last summer that was angry the Lord has not taken him. I knew another from my church. Near his death, I visited him in the hospital. He was at peace after a long battle with cancer also. When I was leaving he told me to shake his right hand, the one closest to his heart. My brother is going through a range of everything emotionally, anger being the biggest. He says he feels he has never learned how to pray. I reassure him that praying to the Lord is not a bunch of words. That it is him talking to the Lord in his own words. Giving Him the Glory and worship  and awe. I have experienced much through my work for the Lord. I am not the person dying. It is my brother. Maybe I just need to forget right now my hospice knowledge. Maybe I am to close for comfort that way. He has said, why am I suffering so much? Why doesn’t the Lord, just take him? I tell him to think about Our Lord, Jesus and what He suffered.

God did curse us in many ways after the fall of Adam. This is to die, to toil, to suffer, to now not live as long as many did in the Old Testament after the flood. God predetermined everything. He is our sovereign God. He spoke through the prophets, telling us a Savior would be born, a High Priest from the order of Melchizedek, from the tribe of Judah. All previous priests were from the tribe of the Levites. Aaron and his descendants. (Genesis 14:18); (Psalm 110-4); (Hebrews 5-6; 5-10; 6-20; 7-1; 7-10; 7-11; 7-15; 7-17; 7-21)

My brother knows The Lord, His word, the bible. He has studied as I have since being born-again. On and off again he has doubted his salvation all along. Why wouldn’t we doubt we are unworthy sinners. He is God and chose vessels for His honor and vessels for dishonor. Who are we to question God? We cannot know everything about God’s purpose in this life. We can know the mind of Christ through His word. We know his promises and His words are true. God inspired the apostles and others to write down His words. The bible is God breathed, infallible. He is the same always. He never changes.

Anyway I have to go back Sunday to my brother’s. I left because I thought it was best for both of us. My mom and I will go separately on Sunday. We are who he has to be there for him. We have to keep our mouths shut no matter. He does not need or want our advice. If he does, he will ask for it. Why can’t I just learn that? It is because I care and love him. I want to help him, make his pain go away. I want to take his place. I can say right now, I look forward to leaving this world and being with the Lord eternally. I am not facing death right now. I do not know how my death will be. I do not know when it will be. I do not know if we are the generation that will meet the Lord in the sky and be with him always. I don’t know death until I face it myself.  We do know what we need to know now through His word and that should suffice.

I am not looking forward to going back, nor my mom. We don’t want to be yelled at. It is very hard to just sit and say nothing. I pray with the Lord’s help, I will do that. To speak when spoken to only. I can’t see him liking that too much either. Lord let me count on the strength you have given me. I surrender to you to guide me through. I think I am afraid, that there will be no closeness like when my dad passed in 2012. My brother is not wanting to be coddled the same as my dad. It’s the masculinity thing, not wanting to be weak, but dying we all are. Our bodies are sick and being eaten away by cancer and other diseases when it’s our time. I have to face it headstrong in the Lord. I need to respect my brother’s wishes no matter the trial it brings.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him; And he shall guide your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Psalm 18-2; Psalm 18-30

I trust you Lord. Help me with my untrusting.

8 thoughts on “Always search for answers in the bible.

  1. This is my $.05 worth of advice – It is hard to do, but leaving the room or the house when being yelled at, makes a statement. It sets a boundary. It gives him time to think and settle down. Leaving your brother’s and going home was not a bad thing. It was good. Perhaps when you go back you need to verbally set a boundary, i.e., explain that you know what he is going through is hard but he is taking his anger out on you. This must stop. You will not tolerate it anymore. If he yells. You will leave again. If the yelling continues, you will leave permanently and not come back. It’s his choice. Then stick to your boundaries and consequences. No matter what, don’t give in. You may also have to apologize for your part of the problem, as it sounds like you had an argument. You are both hurting. It is understandable that you are both angry.
    It may be hard to believe but before he dies your brother will come through the stages of grief to acceptance of God’s will for his life and death. He may even learn to pray since this sounds like something his faith lacks. God is on the throne. He controls both life and death. Trust him. Be not afraid.
    I pray for supernatural patience, love, and mercy for you. I pray that your brother comes to the point of acceptance of God’s will for His life and death. I for boldness, strengthen and forgiveness when you return to him.
    “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was one of them.” Psalm 139:16 ESV
    Take care. I love you.

    • Thanks so much. I did confront him and that led to a very bad reaction. So that is why I feel I did not do right. Everyone says his reaction was his own doing, but if I had kept quiet it would not have happened..

      • Wondering if you are taking responsibility for his reaction? His reaction is his responsibility. Your reaction is yours. These things get all mix-up in our families and we carry false guilt. I’m glad you’re away for awhile. Have a long conversation with God about the whole situation from beginning to end. Then just wait for Him to speak or act for you. (More $.05 worth. 🙂 )

      • Yes, I am. Because even though he hurt my feelings. I should have been able to get over it (P.T.S.D.). He said he can’t be pinned in a corner. I know in his heart he felt bad, but his reaction blew me away. All I wanted was the nurse to come two times a week. Which as a family we believe he needs. He told me to shut up in front of her and my other brother also wanted me to be quiet.. An hour later when I approached him he lost it. I felt bad knowing his life is ending if the Lord doesn’t intercede.

      • Of course you feel bad. It’s terrible sad to lost a loved one and then when things to go badly between you it’s all the worse. You only wanted what you thought was best for your brother.
        I pray the God of all comforts cradles you in His arms and tells you how much He loves you, as His child. You are special to Him and to me. Rest against God’s heart of love and be still.

  2. Job 3:20 “Wherefore is light given to him who is in misery, and life unto the bitter soul. ” Job is asking why would the Lord give life if it’s going to be such misery? Due to his circumstances, (Job)it was his frame of mind. 21 “Which long for death, but it comes not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad, when they can find the grave? 23. Why is light given to a man whose way is hid and whom God has hedged in? ” In other words, like Job, your brother doesn’t know what to do. Most of what he is going through is wrong…as your brother. He is in pain and boxed in. But, doesn’t God always box us in when He wants something from us…ie to look within. Job too was a man of God. But God allowed him to let Satan test him. Are we not always tested? 24 “For my sighing comes before I eat, and my roarings are poured out like the waters. 25. For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. 26. I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.” Many have claimed it was “fear” which caused Job’s problems; however, that is not in the could have been pride, trying to “tell” God to do what is not God’s intention, or fear of the unknown. But like Job, your brother is going through tests and trials, because God wants him in the spirit to trust HIM…to repent and to acknowledge, that God’s will be done…in HIS timetable..not your brother going in the natural in his will. In chapter 30 Jobs afflictions were just pouring out. 30:16 “And now my soul is poured out upon me; the days of affliction have taken hold upon me. 19 He has cast me into the mire, and I am become like dust and ashes.” Perhaps it is not possible for God to sanctify the “carnal self” without the individual in some way , experiencing the “dust and ashes”. JS Expositor’s Study Bible. Psalm 23:4 “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me. ” The ideal position for the “lamb” is to allow the Shepherd to fight for him…to give it over to Christ, because HE is letting your brother know what kind of suffering He went through on the Cross for him. “5 You prepare a table before Me in the presence of My enemies, 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow Me all the days of My life…and I will dwell in the Houses of the Lord forever. ” Your brother needs to stop questioning, and let it go to Jesus..Give it all to HIM… Perhaps you can read to him from the Bible on what it says about death…Then when you go, he can meditate with God and repentance for his doubts will come. I’ve seen many many die of cancer in such horrific circumstances. I pray you keep your “light ” shining…I pray that your brother lets you read to him and pray with him…But in the end it is between God and your brother. I hope this helps..

    • Yes, thank you very much. What you say makes very good sense. Maybe later on he will want me to read to him. He does read himself before he sleeps. Yes, it is between him and God. I hope and pray he can finally have peace with it all. Because being angry does no good. Again, Thank you so much.

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