Stop thinking of yourself, God is in control!

I had to travel for a meeting yesterday. I was not happy with what I heard about getting insurance when you cannot afford it. Anyway I started to get upset and then that turned to thinking about my brother on the way back. I started to cry and I said to myself, “What are you doing?” Are you trusting the Lord with all your heart and soul? I was not. I am not going to worry about it. He will help me take care of it. I looked back over my life and thought, you have done nothing but sin and like all men we cannot seek God on our own. We cannot chose Him. He has mercy on whom He will have mercy. I thought to myself because I know the Lord, is there anything impossible with God? He chose us before eternity past knowing that all are sinners and will be until He comes again. He died for us so that our sins are covered by His blood shed on the cross. He defeated death and sin and rose from the dead in three days as prophesied in the Old and New Testaments. He is seated at the right hand of the Father interceding for us always. For satan is here in this world deceiving all whom he can. Roaming around like a roaring lion seeing who he can devour. This world, is the domain of the prince of the world, satan. If you do not feel bothered about life here or after here, you belong to satan’s deception and that is what he does to deceive you. There are more unbelievers than believers. Only God knows who He has chosen.

We must trust in God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, and believe, The Triune (Godhead) can do what we pray for according to His will. There is nothing a man-made godhead can do for us. Not one deserves that Honor and Glory. God is the One and Only God in heaven. He is everywhere and does not need a replacement pretending to be His equal on earth or a mediator for us. Any man that tells us they know the scriptures and we don’t need to read them ourselves, is a Liar. That is by God’s perfect words, not mine. If you don’t read them how can you be sure what they tell you is true? You can’t. You are being lead blindly by their words. God can assure you that there are no rituals that are told to you by them that will earn your way to heaven. God has told us there is only one mediator between Him and us, Jesus, His Only Begotten Son. If we deny Jesus, we are denying God. We cannot have one without the other. He tells us to not give His place to a father on earth or to call him father in His place. After all if we are all sinners why are they looking holy on the outside when inside God says they are full of dead man’s bones. I would usually look up the verses I have quoted but, you probably would not care to look them up anyway. I tell people as most Christians, that the Gospel of John dispels all this false Christianity. Even some of the highly regarded religious leaders during Jesus’s time became believers. That’s in John’s Gospel too. Even if you don’t believe now I would hope and pray with a contrite heart that you would read it yourself. You don’t have to take anyone else’s word for what it says. Only a foolish man cannot understand the words. A boaster in himself and his good works he thinks will earn him heaven. Because he is taught that he can be good enough, lies.

How many times a day should we pour our hearts out to Him? If you are a Christian, you are constantly thinking of Him, knowing that He loves you. Your love for Him keeps growing. In my walk with the Lord these past three years, I have grown so much. As all of us know, trials come over and over, again. He promises he won’t give us more that we can handle. He knows everything about all men. Their hearts, souls and minds. You cannot fool Him going to church once a week and forgetting Him the rest of it.

When He called me to Jesus, for me I was broken beyond broken. I said that in my testimony the day I was baptized outwardly. I remember when I was saved because as I was crying I called out to Him and I knew then and now that He heard me. He made my heart ready for the effectual call at His time. I knew there was nothing else I needed in my life. My self-created disasters (sins) in my life have wrought me much more than I deserve, death and hell. When I think of what my eternity should have been, I praise Him everyday. We cannot say I belong to Jesus without a life and heart changed. A life that does not want to sin with abandon. We turn from loving sin to hating it. We want nothing more than to tell others about how awesome our God is. We are made disciples that know the truth of this world. We know that nothing here will ever bring us what we truly need. That is a personal eternal relationship with Him.

Lately, I feel shamed but I do confess to the Lord. I am spending time with my brother. He is watching old westerns. I know he is avoiding thinking of his upcoming death. He does not want to dwell upon it. I know at night he is reading and studying as I always do before sleep. He said it makes him cry too much to dwell upon when. You see he knows that he will see the Lord and be with Him eternally. I have been studying but, not a much as I am used to. I do listen to my bible on my mp3, but I can’t do that all the time. Reading is not possible with the TV going. I am playing too many games on my laptop. I want to be attentive to him. Just sitting with him, gives me peace, for him also. I live here with him. My other brother and mom are here every other two weeks each.  They are unbelievers currently. Both are on my (Each One Reach One) list. That’s our churches plan this year. Both of them are very closed about the bible and hearing about it. We don’t approach them directly but, the Lord enables His lights inside sitting here for His purpose.

All of us will face death of the flesh and we know not when. Think today about that. Turn to the Lord Jesus today, for He will enable you if your heart is contrite. Believers are ready everyday for death. We do not fear it, because we have His Holy Spirit that sustains us through all. Today is the day to think on that. Then you can Each one Reach one. For we were made to worship, The Lord. If we are in this life for what we can get and sin with abandon, then our worship belongs here. And we are not of God.  The world will not be destroyed as scientists tell you, but as the Lord tells us in His word. When He comes again every knee will bow and know that He is the Lord. Fear Him now for His wrath will consume unbelievers and  He will cast them after judgement into the lake of fire eternally with bodies fit for suffering. And there is no crossing that great fixed gulf.

Pray for my brother and his wishes.

I have been very wrong, I guess. I just don’t get it. My brother is dying as you know. Only the Lord knows when. He is getting more and more thin. He is comfortable. He wants to be drug free. It’s his choice. I don’t understand. As you get closer to the end you need to stay comfortable. The drugs are keeping the edge off. That is what it is about. The meds are not going to end or prolong his life.

How can I understand Lord? I can’t concentrate again. I tried to not get upset yet I did. I did keep my mouth shut and take two Klonopin. My other brother called and wanted to wait until Thursday to come because he thought he would be closing on his new place sooner than expected. My mom she planned on going home today. I told her that was fine, yet she made my brother call to change the closing. I don’t know? Update he was delayed now for his closing by the mortgage company. I am taking my mom home tomorrow. We had words this A.M. and I am staying out of her way.  I let go how I feel. She has my aunt watering a plant. She has her neighbor walking to get the mail. My brother does her snow. She wants to be at her house. She does not want to inconvenience people when her son is dying. She just does not get it. To me it is like two weeks, I did my time, now it is his turn, my other brother. I will never leave him until the end. It has nothing to do with me. It is what the Lord wants from me.

Now my other brother, even as it has been decided, he wants to die here, offered for my brother to come to his house at the end. There goes my being with him as much as I want. He is going to rule and I won’t be able to see my dying brother as much as I want. I am keeping my mouth shut from now on. Let everyone make all the decisions for him. I asked him if he felt hurt about how people want it all convenient for them? Of course, he said yes. I asked my mom if she wanted to die in someone else’s house? I got no answer.

I guess it looks like I am the selfish one. He does not want people visiting him in his condition now anyway. I am his Christian sister. I won’t be able to be with him. I will get to visit when it is authorized. Please Lord God don’t let it turn out this way. The convenience belongs to my brother and no one else.

My brother wants him to come to their house, one hundred miles, one hour away to die. It is more convenient for them.

Anyway I got angry and my brother got angry and cussed me. My mom cried because I point-blank said what is more important your son or all these, your house and all the other things that are taken care of. Life goes on for them all. It is like a sacrifice to change your plans.

Anyway whatever he decides again. And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28-30)

It is already decided by His Sovereignty anyway.

So I will pray anyway and trust Him always. No more comments from me or getting upset. I was an unbeliever also. I never knew it all. I was a sinner and am still. I need lots of forgiveness because I am still sinning, everyday.

For by grace through faith are we saved, not of ourselves, for it is a gift of God. (Ephesians 2:8 ; 2 Timothy 1:9; John 1: 12, 13)

We will persevere through the one and only mediator, Jesus Christ!

As Christians we are able to trust God in our trials. Remember Job? Satan told God he could make him curse Him. God said you can do anything you want to him but, you can’t kill him. In summary his family was killed and he lost everything he had. And Job fell to the ground and worshiped God. (Job 1:1-29) Satan struck Job with painful boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took for himself a potsherd with which to scrape himself while he sat in ashes. Even his wife said curse God and die. (Job 2:1-9) He had three friends come to him and say he must be sinning or God would not do this to him. (Job 42:11-13; Job Chapters 3-37)

God questions Job from the Realm of Creation (Job Chapters 38-41). Job repented in dust and ashes and abhorred himself. (Job:42:1-6) And God said go to my servant Job and offer sacrifices for yourselves, seven bulls and seven rams and my servant Job will pray for you. For I will accept him, lest I deal with you according to your folly; because you have not spoken right of Me as my servant Job has. (Job 42:7-9) The Lord restored Job’s losses giving him twice as much as he had before. (Job 42:11-17) You should read the book of Job.

What is the point in telling you about this? Who are we to question God? We have no power. Unbelievers do not believe this. They act righteous, seek after money, fame, etc. These are their idols. Plus even still there are many who worship other gods, not the true God of the bible. When you die, what will you take with you? Nothing!

This life is but a vapor. We are to repent our sins and accept His grace through faith. To be adopted into His family as sons and daughters. We are here to share the bible truths with all, including those who will reject. He has chosen those who will come to Him.  We are to tell the world about Jesus Christ, who shed His blood for our sins. To obey Him as His Holy Spirit helps us to do so. To become Christ-like and spend eternity with Him in His heavenly kingdom created for us and the remnant of Israel, who will mourn when they see Him at the second coming.

I am watching my brother get ready to go to the Lord. He went back to the hospital with complications. Still in his heart, and out loud, he confesses Jesus Christ as his Savior. I have been with him watching him suffer. I have watched him go from questioning why to acceptance. I told him until a doctor tells him there is nothing more they can do for him, to keep going. Mistakes have been made by the doctors treating him. Many other Christians have seen their loved ones die. It is different for us because we have the assurance we will see them again. Of course, we mourn the loss. The difference with unbelievers is they hope they will see them again.

So you see you can know where you will go after death. Some of us suffer more than others. The Lord our God, sacrificed Himself for us, as told in the bible. He went through unrelenting pain until His death on the cross to atone for our sins. He took our place for what we all deserve, death, unrelenting punishment. He has given believers, eternal life in Him. There is no other God that can save you. Any others that you worship will send you to hell. They are all of the world which satan deceives you with in many different forms. Man made gods, man’s own way of reaching God. Man-made religions, like the Pharisees, scribes, and Sadducees. He told them you are of your father the devil. (John Chapter 8; John 8:44). There is nothing new under the sun from the beginning, to man-made religions or false doctrines, out there today. (Ecclesiastes 1:1:10) Man trying to earn his way to heaven. “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26) So who will you give your life to? No choice is a choice. If you do not listen, you have rejected the one and only God and you are condemned already. We are doing as the apostles before us, going out in the world preaching to you what the bible says. It is God’s perfect word. We all are sinners. We have not rejected God’s free offer of mercy on whom He will have mercy. Turn to Him, repent and receive the gift. If you belong to Him, He will answer you.