I am terminal and accept it.

Yesterday were my twin brother’s birthdays. This will be the last for my one brother. We talked about the Lord yesterday. He says he is ready. The fluids have not stopped flowing. It is bile from the surgery coming out the gallbladder area. The doctor says we will give it a couple more weeks. He wants him down to fifty before he can take out the tube. He may need another endoscopy to put in a bigger stint. You see when they did the surgery they thought it would be successful. So the stint is still small. I don’t know if he will even do that.

Last night mom and I said the word, terminal. I think he was hoping he was getting better. One of his friends is still trying to get him to go to Arizona for treatment. He is too weak. His nurse told my mom a doctor went there and it did not help him. His wife will be left to get a job after all the expense. He checked another place in Texas and was told the best chance was the whipple surgery. He told me he will probably be angry and accepting at times. He still had hope he was getting better. He admitted looking in the mirror he is not. I see the suffering at times with extreme pain. It is almost time to go on hospice. They will maintain the pain, keep him comfortable. I am glad he will live life to the fullest until that time, which he is doing. I have asked the Lord for a miracle according to His will. He already answered about the pain because he does have meds to control it right now. He is now adhering to a low-fat diet. When he eats the wrong thing with too much fat, it gets very bad. So he is no longer going to test that. He has lost forty pounds since September. 

There is the sting of death coming upon him. His soul will go directly to the Lord, as we are promised as believers. When he comes to our house for hospice, which I am very glad will his be choice. I would think he would want a believer with him constantly. I believe it is worked out by the Lord. I was to my dad. I have and will be for others. It is again nothing to do with me the Lord always leads me.

Everyone of us will feel that sting of death. You don’t know when it may be coming. That is why you must turn to Him. He is the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of the Father, God incarnate. If you ask you will not be denied. Only because He gives you the mercy we all receive in repentance of our sins. He adds to His church daily. He will raise us up on that last day. Believers like my brother whose body will be asleep in the Lord. Second the generation alive at that time will follow in a twinkle of an eye. Our souls live on for eternity. I know it will be just a moment in God’s time before I see my brother again, besides all the saints saved over the centuries. Before life ever began, He knew us. He knew who would turn to Him in brokenness. I praise and worship Jesus Christ, as my Savior. He is the Savior of the world. The I am. He is the same past, present and future. He never changes. Are you one of those chosen to have His mercy, grace through faith? Are you a son or daughter of the Lord, forever? I don’t know that or begin to know. All I know is everyone either rejects or accepts  Him. You will be held accountable for your choice. We are all created to worship. He says so in His word, the Bible. Seek Him and He will be found. Ask and the door shall be opened to you. He is waiting for those who belong to Him. All the Father has drawn to Jesus will be saved. He will not lose one. Face death knowing where you are going. Because you can be assured of that by acceptance. His helper will come to you, the Holy Spirit will sustain you and preserve you until that last day. No one but the Father knows that day. If you die without knowing Him, you are condemned already. I could look all these promises up for you, but if you reject Him, it will be all foolishness to you. The Lord knows all of us and our hearts. Does he know yours? Yes, is the answer. Seek Him today all you broken-hearted for He is there.

Verily, verily, “I say to you unless one is born again he will not see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3) Will you see it?

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4 thoughts on “I am terminal and accept it.

  1. I’m so sorry. Life can be so gruesome. I’m glad your with your brother for his sake. I pray it isn’t too much for you, that God protects you from too much sorrow. Keep writing. It’s a good outlet for your grief and helps us know how to pray.
    Praying and thinking of you. Love ya.

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