Torn apart by mental illness for over three years.

Bipolar 1 disorder was a destructor of my life. I wish that when I first was diagnosed I would have had the right meds. I wish my husband could have tried harder to understand that it was me not in control. All I wanted was support and love from them. I did not want to be ignored like I was a piece of furniture. I really don’t think they intentionally did this. Though at times it was a joke to them. I knew then I could get well with the love of my family. If they had worked just a bit to understand the illness. My brother (who is dying) told me I was saved at that time. I cried out to the Lord to not have to live like this. I felt I would rather die. So suicide was the answer.

The Lord changed all that. I know how hard it is to deal with the mentally ill. I am bipolar 1 with P.T.S.D. and now I have the Lord who is my strength and solace. I never dreamed I would get such a beautiful message from my husband. It went straight to my heart that has never stopped loving him.

The Greatest Commandment!

In answer to a lawyer’s question after the Lord had silenced the Sadducees about the resurrection. (Matthew 22:23-34); (Mark 12:18-27); (Luke 20:27-40)

Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”

Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  

This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:35-40); (Mark 12:28-34)

This was an email from my husband today.

Missing the girl who never forgot anything.

5 thoughts on “Torn apart by mental illness for over three years.

  1. My heart aches for you having lost my bipolar son to suicide, He is still always with me. Don’t even think of going that route. Thank you Jesus for being in your life and your husbands. No one said this walk in life was going to be easy.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so sorry that your son could not get the help he needed. I know what it feels like and I am sure you did everything you could to help him. Only in the Lord is there solace for loss. I, myself am able to function quite normally now. I was on the wrong meds while in Lebanon. I did attempt suicide with pills and alcohol but God had me live.These past years he has strengthened me and I am able to live through my pain of loss of family. My husband sent what is in the box in an email. I feel so blessed. The Lord is always working and I trust His will in everything. Again thank you for your kind words of encouragement. It means so much more from you having lost your son and still being able to use your testimony for me and others. May the Lord bless you. Again thank you so much.

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