So the rushed retail days are over. They never kept me from fellowship with Christ, Our Lord. The more we pray and stay in the word the more we grow as children of God. I don’t begin to understand all He has in store for us. I do know I am His child forever. I look forward to seeing heaven as it is described in Revelation. There is no doubt it is a beautiful heaven and we will have no pain, or fear, or cry or die again.
I think of my brother who is dying. He was here at Christmas. He has lost thirty pounds. He is very ill. I have cried many times. What can I say but, that I am praying for God’s will for him. It is all God’s will and that’s the prayers He hears. According to His will my brother will go home to Him. My brother does not want to leave yet. It is not that he is afraid or that he has doubts about going to heaven. He is dealing with the flesh that wants to live longer. He wants to try some Italian doctor’s treatment.
I don’t think he could make a ten-hour flight. Go through all that and get back here. His twin brother will go with him, if he insists. He would rather have his current doctor here do the treatment. I would say if someone is dying, let them have the treatment they want.
He does not want chemo or radiation. Pills work less and less. He can’t eat any fat. We all have that flesh that wants to hang on here. I wish I could be with him all the time but, he does not want that. He says he will need us later, when he goes on hospice.
He told me that he wanted to live until his eighties but, he is fifty-eight. Losing a loved one is very hard. It has been like my dad (died in 2012 same cancer) a bit over again, because he gets angry. He said before, that being a Christian, why can’t he control the sin of anger? I say we all have sins that go out of control. I can’t control the hurt I instantly feel when people hurt me. I want to run and hide. I think his anger is a reaction opposite mine of sadness.
I really don’t have anyone to talk to. My husband is not a choice, my daughter probably never again, my sister lives away. I can’t talk to my mom about my beliefs. She does not want to hear it. She says can we please not talk about this. I have my beliefs and you have yours. It’s the same with my other brother. My church does not know what to do for me. My brother wanted to be baptized before he dies. He never found a church where he lives. He came to mine he says they teach the word. You must be a member to get baptized. I spoke to one of our past deacons and asked him if he thought it made a difference. He said no. Pastor says he will do his funeral service.
Yes, Lord sorrow runs deep here in this world. Take me to Your kingdom soon. Amen.
Look all around you, does it all just look great to you? Do you see things getting better? What planet do you live on. Everyday another suicide bomber, people killing each other. Even in Lebanon, Beirut now, all around the Middle East, more unrest. Who is next door to all these countries? God’s chosen people the Jews, Israel. He has not forgotten them. He will return for His church first, and then the vine we are grafted into.
So if you die before you are ready. You better have confessed Jesus as your Savior. He came to save us and He will have all the Father has given Him when he comes for us the second time.