Isn’t it a shame.

Our state-run governments do not believe that mental illness is going to last more than a year. My experience, has made me humble. I am able according to them to get gainful, substantial employment. I did well at that after my last job, no one will hire me. I asked for them to hire me back. I got no reply because I am too mentally ill. I was talking in church about it being sin. It’s a sin I can’t control when it happens. I don’t have any warning and then it’s to late. I was told I violated a person’s rights by not taking her out the back door when it was sprinkling. I was told to be firm with her because she was running me. I was told I picked the wrong time to do it. I did it, I admit it. I just did not know at the time it was happening. The fallout left me in chaos even still when I remember. I am shamed.

Our servicemen, being veterans with P.T.S.D. have to be taken care of by wives that have to do it all. They have to make the money, care for the husband, children, and run the home. I am not sure if those uninjured physically get help even. I know there are many homeless, our government does not take care of. You have to get a lawyer and wait two to three years to get disability, if you have enough proof of your illness.
Should my family have to pay to keep me from going off my drugs?
Should I have to pay for my own drugs when I can’t work, part-time now or full-time?
My credit is in the toilet from debts left by my husband and the credit checks show me a thief, that I am also. I would pay if I could.
I finally got free clinic help on all of it, except no hospitalization.
So if I am dying on the street or need treatment for my mental illness, if I am in my right mind I will not go because I can’t pay the bill they will send.
I could go back into the Medicaid system again.
If you make more than three hundred a month you lose you benefits.
That means you should be able to pay for your own insurance.
Then they will send me somewhere else because I have insurance, getting stable, except for the episodes took years. Then all the re-evaluation (PCP) person centered plan, goals, therapy, etc.
It is so hard for people with these illnesses to get help with the circles they put us in. It could drive a sane person for a break. I don’t want free. I worked my whole life. I just want to be able to work for gainful, substantial pay.
I can’t imagine on top of that having no home of your own, or living in a shelter, only for a period of time allotted  Then you have to move in with family or under a bridge, or in a tent in the woods.
I tried doing peer support through an agency that helps the mentally ill. I was told I was delusional because an employee was abusing me and I could not prove it.
So you get that $8.50 an hour job and pay for all you need. Okay I can live on that. Only because I live with my mother.
So a drug company is paying for my non-generic med.
My treatment is also through the free clinic, that if you see all they pay for us, it would be cheaper to just put us on medicare.

My point is if I did not have the Lord Jesus Christ as My Savior, where would I be? I would be suicidal, or probably dead, as I tried once. I am not worrying about tomorrow. I know it will take care of itself. I just want to do His work that he has given me and that is all. I praise you Lord Jesus that you let me come to you. Are you in this world of evil, getting more evil everyday, without Him? It is time to give it All to Him. He does make the burden lighter when we trust Him fully. I know now, again and again through trials that will come, He will never give me more than I can handle.

One more thought. I think these free clinics treat people with dignity in our situations and other health situations. I have never been so blessed as where I am now. I started there and now I am back there. You must adhere to their rules which keeps those really wanting to be stable to stay that way. Most of all group therapy that benefits me the most. They really truly care about us all. There is one here that is an all volunteer clinic, amazing. They get you set on health insurance, no hospitalization, but you get your yearly checkups. So you have to be in the know. Please check your state. Also you can become a blood plasma donor. I do because it helps others and I get gas money. Just don’t let it be considered a business.

3 thoughts on “Isn’t it a shame.

  1. Chery-
    Your first statement – Does this mean you were turned down for disability? If so, almost everyone is turned downed the first time. Try, try again. A lawyer would help. They know the right buttons to push. But even with a lawyer people get turned down multiple times and have to keep refiling. So I’ve heard. I’ve talked to a lot of people about disability.
    Don’t worry about going to ER for your mental health. They won’t know what to do with us anyway and put us in the hospital. Calling your doctor and seeing him would take care of most things, unless your suicidal, which is an emergency.
    I was in the hospital 3 times without insurance. I know from experience, it all works outs. They don’t leave us dying on the sidewalk. God is good. He finds ways of helping us. Do not fear, little flock, for it is you Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom. (Luke 12:32) He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? (Romans. 8:32) Read Matthew 6:25-34.
    Off the subject – I tried to “friend” you on Goodreads but couldn’t find you. What name are under?

    • I wrote this mainly to show how the mentally ill are treated. It is from my experience of how the system that is supposed to help takes you in circles. I am in the know as you are as to how it works. How many people do you think out there don’t know? At the very least a family member who reads this may find the resources for help a loved one might need. There is no cure for Bipolar and in the rejection letters they send, they say your illness is deemed to not last more than a year. I know I can go to the hospital, I just don’t like it that taxpayers have to pay for me when I have worked all my life and need medicare that I have paid into. I have to get my password for Goodreads reset, I forgot it.

      One other thing if you don’t have your past proof of hospitalizations (mine are in Lebanon), you can forget it.

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