Well it took a couple of days and here it came. Just like before always trying to smooth things over to no avail. Broken, broken and broke and the only healer for my pain is the Lord Jesus.. I know my family is living in a country that is in the end times. How many times is God’s Cedars Trees and Lebanon mentioned in the Bible, many.
Well the country will eventually be pulled into the jihad mode. They are all for each other even different sects eventually. Are two armed groups going to fight each other against Israel, no.
I fear for my family. Not in the fear mode of danger there but in the fear of no salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. If you don’t have a personal relationship with him, being born again, you will not see the kingdom of God. They are ritualistic Christians like the Jewish Sadducees and the Pharisees, same religious hypocrisies, earn my way to God plan. All they could see was Jesus was healing on the Sabbath breaking their rules. They had to get rid of him and they had him crucified. He was innocent and lived a sinless life. They were of their father the devil, blinded by their own ways, man’s way to their God of their own making. Jesus died to bear our sins to bring a people from all nations including God’s chosen Jews to salvation. Man’s way can never work. I always wondered why the kids in the church touch the priest’s garment. Then I read my Bible and Jesus healed people who touched him. They believed in him that he was the Son of God and so their faith through him made it possible. The Apostles had the same God-Given power. I always thought it was too weird kissing those icons and crosses too. Oh, that I now can see that these are wooden and carved idols.
Anyway my meltdown is over. I had a good cry. I spent three weeks not emailing my husband only to have him come down on me about and email my daughter shared with him. It is always about being better than others, about it being your fault and he has no part in it. So I will always have this to deal with unless I stop doing want I should not be doing, that is trying to talk to him. He always gets angry anyway. So I will spare him, me.
Too bad again the meltdown came in church. I had my good cry (they know my issues). I came back in listened to Pastor’s message. Somehow I always hear something for me that soothes my soul. I even sang in the choir praising our Lord. It was truly amazing praise.
Updated: I have been told that unless I deny My Lord Jesus, there is only a hairline of hope for my marriage.