Giving control to the Lord everyday.

So what do we do? We try to do it our way. Then after the trial we do it his way anyway. I do this over and over again. Do you think I will learn? Well yes and no. We are still in these fleshly bodies that have to fight against sin. I have had to break through lately with his purpose. I did a full circle. I am without health insurance because even with my mental illness I am deemed well to have gainful employment. This part is true. My illness is not expected to last more than 12 months, right. Anyway here goes. I am not being a cry baby now. I am just saying lead me Lord.

May 2009 hospitalized and diagnosed bipolar 1 and post traumatic stress disorder later 2010 in the U.S.

July 2009 attempted suicide, psyche hospital, zombie drugs, lithium toxicity because of extreme weight loss

November 2010 returned to the U.S. dead in my sins and almost in the flesh, for treatment with my husbands blessing. God bless them they could not deal with my illness.

November 2010 crisis intervention, meds changed.

March 2011 The Lord’s  Saving Grace through Faith. He let me come to him.

September 2011 after months of therapy,  goals reached to start living as normal as possible.

December 2011 working for the Lord out in the world. I love it.

February 2012 a job working for the Lord with pay. I love it.

March 2012 regular MD won’t write scripts for my disorders.

March 2012 back in therapy, a new psychiatrist.

June 2012 cut from medical insurance and therapy, psychiatrist

August 2012 back to where I began without medical insurance, free service for therapy, medicines, same psychiatrist I saw in the beginning, won’t he be surprised.  I am joking because he saw me at my lowest. Now he will be amazed.  I have group therapy, prerequisite for services. The Lord is shining in My Heart, Soul and is My Strength always. What can I do without him, nothing?

Yes, yes we still want control but, every time we have to give that burden over to him and then the next. With Him all is possible, with man nothing.

The Greatest Gift of All is Love. I write my journal in hopes and prayers that someway my path to recovery touches others and for inspiration to all to Trust in Jesus Our Savior, Our Deliverer, Amen

Oh, here’s A Bless, Bless.  A week ago last Sunday and a few other times, I have cried in church. I just want my family back. Well, anyway I said to our Bible study leader, “Can I say something before we start?” I felt the need to explain what people will see from me with my illness at times. I said;  “I Love this church”.  It is a church of the True Word of Jesus Christ. I searched a long while to find it. Well the end result was. “We still love you.”  So they know and if I am down or up (manic not to often at church) comfort is there.

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