Straight from the heart the Lord gave me.

I love my life now, because I know of eternity with The Lord. I have had to go on with His purpose for me. With His Gifts to me I walk through this place.  Even though it has hurtful experiences from the past. The worst being separation from my family in Lebanon. I don’t worry about the why’s now. I just know in my heart any repair will come from His work. I now go for days, weeks not hearing from them. It is because of their internet connection problems. It is mostly down. I have to ask to talk to my daughter. She never initiates. These things are part of my testimony in the Lord. A trust in Him that goes beyond the beyond.

I have a mental illness that still flares up. If it is to be healed that is in His purpose for me. I still take meds. I am done with the new therapy they made me go to. I knew it would be this way, but guess what it was good while I had it during the death of my dad. It is also helping me deal with perseverance along with the Lord’s help. They of course say, stand up for yourself, which I have but, it comes out to everyone as my illness. A few understand my triggers. That’s okay if it happens it happens. I am sorry to those that have to endure it and to The Lord. If you don’t have bipolar1 with post traumatic stress disorder, how can you ever really understand it? Are any, except the therapists, psychiatrists, The Lord, understanding? They do because they are in there doing their jobs to help people deal with this in their ways. I trust The Lord will not let me slip into another great fall into delusion. I was brought to my knees by this. I needed Him and He was always there. I gave Him my life because He made my heart ready to give all my burdens and sinfulness to Him and He covered them by His blood on the Cross. 

So in the long run here, where we are strangers, sojourners in this place, we always have Him as our guide through His spirit and, His Word, The Bible. Everything is there to help you grow in that Love for Him. A love we know without seeing Him. He  says: Blessed are those that do not see but, Believe. Amen.

Update:  Now the Lord worked out something different. I can get my meds paid for but, I have to attend group therapy weekly. That is the way it goes. It is a requirement. If you haven’t heard many people in recovery from mental illnesses confess Jesus as Savior. Maybe he has more witnessing in mind. Hmm, we will see where he leads me with this. It won’t hurt!

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