The last few days again have been very trying. I don’t want to listen to it. I spend most time in my room. All the family was here for Dad’s eightieth Birthday. He didn’t even let us take a picture. Mom says just ignore what he says. It’s very hard. I can hear it wherever I am. My brother ( born-again Christian), sister (not) attended a Church together. It just so happens the sermon was on John 3 1-36 which I am also studying with a friend. It was very uplifting and the first time this gentleman preached. The original Pastor was out-of-town.
Before everyone came, we had another incident. Dad says very rude things as always. I said dad you are being mean to mom. He said I am being mean to him. I said she loves you so much. He said tell me something I don’t know. Next thing he said he is getting the #@&@** out of here. She asked him where he was going? All this time I am weeping in my room. I came out I was afraid he would leave. I grabbed him around the neck sobbing we love you so much daddy. I cried and cried. Well after a while he asked do you want to hear the good news. I already knew. His numbers went from 3600 down to 380. His doctor says that is good but, still there is no cure for pancreatic cancer. I know he is angry. That he doesn’t want to die. I know he is searching for what he doesn’t see. I know that God has to have predestined him and can only call him. I keep praying that is so. That is all we can do.
Oh, Lord God Almighty, I have no question, just prayers. Amen