I hadn’t even realized it until late today. I was manic. I can’t say when it started but, I just know it happened. I feel embarrassed. I thought I was over this with my medicines controlling it. Now I am wondering what to do. I may have to have my medicines tweaked. So that means going back to the psychiatrist. Possibly re-entering treatment. I guess even as a Christian I am still going to endure these mental disorders. It has been since last July that I had an episode of mania. I am wondering if I have been manic since. For me mania has to do with changing the world. I am not the changer the Lord is.
Oh, Lord don’t let me fall again. I trust you with my life. Please help me persevere. Am I going to have to re-think things again? What will I do to serve you? These are questions I ask myself. If my disorders are messing up again. Take charge of me your will be done.
A Child of Christ, Amen
Update I spoke to my case worker. She said to go to my regular doctor. She can update my meds. She also asked how I was doing today. I said fine but, just a bit worried. You see we bipolars have lived it. It seemed so long since I became manic that I didn’t notice. Now I am thinking back and there were a couple other times possible too. We just have to beware of what is happening. There is no med that cures it. I just have to pray to the Lord knowing he will take me under his wing. Amen Lord Jesus Protect me.