You can’t say a word. A word ticks him off. You try to let him know lovingly you are there for him and get told you are going overboard. I am going back to what I said. No more talking, again I am overboard. Slowly but, surely I started saying good morning, goodnight, bye, to my dad. I can see he is upset. He doesn’t want us doting, mom or me. Pride, pride, pride, bitterness, I feel helpless. When it’s too late for all of us to show love. He won’t be aware or can’t care. Guess that’s the way it has to be. I am a loving person, being torn apart when I give love, to my dad. My mom too, she cries a lot. We just want to disappear. This is really hard. Does a Christian dying do this? No they have peace and joy for a life in the Lord. Maybe it’s not too late. All things are possible if you believe. I believe, Lord that he will. I just read that in Mark 9:23-24. The outbursts are very hard to take. Just break down give it over to the Lord, find peace. That’s why you are feeling this way. Already helpless against your disease, knowing the time is coming, soon. You are lost and can’t control a thing and pride is in the way of love. I don’t want to remember my dad this way. Yes it is horrible he is dying. He must realize he is pushing us away. We should be close, remembering some of the times we shared through life together. Is anyone out there? Have you experienced this? How did you deal with it?
Today he saw his doctor. We are giving him more insulin. He is only to take his glucose in the morning and stop worrying. The doctor is referring him for chemo. It could possibly prolong his life to six months max. He seemed better after. Mom said he told the doctor he made his day. Lord in your hands, your choice.