Tomorrow I’m supposed to have a meeting.

Guess what I’m not going. I decided to let sleeping dogs lie. I haven’t been back to the Opp. Center since Monday last week. I am not a confrontational person, so I just don’t want to tell anyone what’s wrong and what I dealt with. Being bipolar 1 with PTSD, I am not going to go to a place for people with mental illnesses and be treated awfully by someone who claims no issues. I had enough of that with my husband. The circumstances were familiar. I did something that was all my fault, not. Then I asked about could I continue helping and got the silent treatment. Which to me means (you’re worthless). When she should have said this paper puncher is messing up, so I will finish, but thank you for trying to help. No person should be exposed to a no answer. Doesn’t she know people like us have had dealings with this. Maybe someone should tell her, like her boss. I hope she does something. I don’t care if she was in a rush to complete something, blame yourself not me. It’s been a week and I am still bugged. I had let the first remarks about Christians talking too much about God go. If she understood anything about being a true Christian she would know you are not in control he is. God will find somewhere else to share my love, kindness and spirit of the Lord in me. Just lead the way I’m ready. Nobody said Christians can’t be upset and a little angry. I am just a sinner too. Should have stuck with staying home, this was me getting back into life. Trying to accomplish something good for me and others.

It was a good weekend, family get together. We went to the fireworks (Saturday here) because other surrounding cities want people to come to theirs also. It was beautiful, just mom and I. My sister locked her keys in the car. Sunday we had a family get together at my Aunt & Uncles. My brothers, sister, cousins, new baby, 8 day old, mom and dad. I felt a little upset so I walked behind the shed to pray and look up at the sky, hoping for the day the Lord will come again. Then my dad came back, put his arm around me, told me he loves me. He said he doesn’t think he’s going to make it much longer. It’s true, I can see him fading. I cried hard. His last test showed cancer cells from 400 went to 1600. He has pancreatic cancer. They took a ct-scan the 29th so will know more this week. It’s very hard to think of him gone. I cried hard when he said that to me. I love him no matter. My brothers and I, not my sister, admit we grew up in a dysfunctional family. It’s not our parent’s fault. They came from the same. They had four kids in four years. I know it wasn’t easy. We are a product of them and they of their parents. I can see it is true. I love them anyway. They grew up in the great depression, so money was really hard to earn then. It’s going that way now again. Just biding my time. Please Lord, save my mom and dad. Being a good Catholic is not all it takes please call them. I know not everyone will be saved but, I hope and pray many are.

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