As usual fighting words again. I was sitting in the other room and they were running down my Christian brother. I said he is not here to defend himself. I was told to be quiet in so many words. So they kept it up and I left. My dad made fun of me because I’m bipolar and it’s either fight or flight. I took the flight to my room again. I told my mom, I want to move out. I know I will go crazy and end up back in the hospital. My dad is so ate up with hate and bitterness. He doesn’t care what he says or who he says it to. So after a discussion, my mom comes back and tells me my dad feels I am punishing him. If I leave they won’t sleep at night. He said he’ll be dead soon anyway. God says he is already dead. I can’t ask why it’s none of my business. Only who he has chosen will be saved eternally. I pray that for my dad. If only his eyes would open and see it doesn’t have to be this way. God came to save the sinners, the broken-hearted, the weak, the lowly, not the self-righteous. Dad’s always right. We are always wrong. We have to let him dish it out and take it with no response. I don’t want him to die and not be saved. I can pray all I want, it’s not my choice. I told my mom I will stay but, he can’t talk to me anymore. I can’t go crazy bipolar again. I have come so far to be stable with the Lord’s help. I have a hard time greeting insults, with love. I am still a sinner. Lord give me help with this. Give me patience, help me endure. You have suffered so much more than me. Help me to suffer through this and keep my mouth closed. In Jesus’s name I pray. This is my outlet for my grief. My families are broken apart and I can’t do anything to fix it. I have to trust in the Lord only. I will stay in my room as much as possible or go riding. It’s my only outlet for now and my Bible with words of strength.
I wrote to my daughter and told her she needed to make her choice through Jesus for God. I told her I hope God has chosen her in my words. That she needs to turn away from the music she listens to because, it is all evil. I told her that concert she went to was all for taking kids to hell eternally. The words in their songs are obvious if you listen. I gave her some Bible verses in Matthew 24:1-51. I told her salvation is personal and everyone has their own choice to be responsible for. Her dad has nothing to do with that. His choice is not hers. In assurance that she read it. I also sent an email to her aol account telling her, I can’t believe the things she writes on facebook, swearing words, hateful remarks about her friend. I took up for that same friend before and after I became ill. My daughter is doing the same thing as everyone did to her friend. She told her every time she talks to her she can feel her brain cells depleting, such love. Maybe they are not close anymore, I wouldn’t know. Her other friend, one of the twins who caused this all by being abusive to others, has never learned her lesson and still puts the same friend down and others, I’m sure. I hope the girl who is being abused confides in her mother this time. I would pray her mother looks at her daughter’s account, since she’s been through this before. She should see what people are saying to her and put a stop to it, including my daughter. Her daughter is going to be affected the rest of her life already. I lived it I know. You feel what is wrong with me? Why are people teasing me and outright mean to me? Why am I am not liked for who I am? It’s a terrible way to lose your self-esteem. Some people can let it roll off their backs and others can’t. What is my daughter doing? She is a bystander and a contributor to this girl’s hurt, a bully.
I love this girl. She is a beautiful soul, that God will draw to him one day, just like me. She will be broken-hearted, feeling worthless and hopeless. In her misery she will give up and ask him for help and give her burden to him. She will not be able to do otherwise. I have faith I will see her in Heaven. If her mom isn’t up on this or playing it down. She won’t confide her hurt. The same as before when I saw it and told her mom. Please Lord, I pray hard for her to turn to you.
I pray hard for all, knowing not many will come to salvation because they think this world is so wonderful. It’s the haven for living in the flesh for the evil one. Going about your business as usual. Never thinking the time will come and you will be caught unaware, too late. It’s all spelled out for those the Lord allows to see and have turned to him when he calls them. It can’t be a superficial repentance. It has to be a complete trust and total reliance on him and the most important is you will live the change because he works through you. Without that you are going on with your life as usual without true submission. That’s what happened when Noah built the Ark. He kept telling the people to repent for a hundred years. They did not listen. The flood came and destroyed all the evil ones. Only eight people, Noah, his wife, their sons and their wives were deemed righteous enough to live. Genesis Chapters 6-9. The same thing for Lot, Abraham asked God to spare any righteous. Only his nephew Lot and his daughters were spared, his wife looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt. No trust in the Lord. God rained fire and brimstone and destroyed all in Sodom and Gomorrah, for unrepentant sins. Genesis 19:1-29. For some the price is too large to pay. In the end all the things they care for in this world will be gone. They will be suffering eternally and begging for forgiveness. Too late you had your choice. You didn’t care to hear, to search or find him. He seeks you first and you obey. You will be on his right side or his left at judgement after the Tribulation, for the Kingdom on earth. That means you are either a sheep on the right or a goat on the left. The left will be sent to eternal hell. Why even go through that? Believe without seeing and you can be saved. Give your whole heart and soul to him. He chooses you.
In the end of what I wrote to my daughter. She took almost all the bad things off her facebook. I’m not sure the reason. Her dad or God. Time will tell. It’s not for me to say. She seems to have unfriended me on messenger social. I can only pray that the Lord’s plan is for her to repent and for many more to come to salvation. I trust you with my life Dear Lord, totally. In yours hands, I am dead in the flesh but, will live eternally. True Christians can’t wait for that time. We have to wait patiently and always be ready. For no one knows the date or time, Only God, Amen
All around me are trials just like everyone. It’s like when you become a Christian the darts start flying. You can’t control the joy in your heart and want others to see and feel it too. Too sad there are only a few that find that narrow gate. The rest the wide. That’s why I get upset. I know it’s up to God but, we still have to spread the word. We never know when we will reach another elect Christian through our words and gifts of the Lord. I can’t work right now, no jobs, not to mention my dad has pancreatic cancer and is very hard to deal with. He’s always been that way. It’s worse now. The closer it gets the worse it will be. I have family estrangements. I am not alone. We all have it and more to come. God says he will never give us more than we can handle. So after I get angry, forgive me Lord. Then I can get control again and move on.
I did leave at 7:30 yesterday and did not come back til 3:00 today. I was so upset. I did not want to come back. My mom called voice mail three times. I called my brother to call and tell them I was alright. I ended up staying at my Aunt’s. We are alike in the sensitive department. She had a narcissistic mother, my grandmother. It came through, the mental illnesses all out of gene lines both maternal and paternal. No wonder we are all messed up. I know there are worse stories than ours. I pray for all those victims of abuse and bullying, people starving, babies dying of it all over the world, all the terrible diseases more coming, all our men and women in war, their families who do and will always need our prayers. They come home messed up (PTSD). My dad was in the Korean war. I am sure that has a lot to do with him. God hears our prayers of mourning. How long Lord, how long? My dad told my mom yesterday, he is probably bipolar too. This is what happened my whole life. I can’t just take it only so long. Especially leaving my marriage last November for the same things said yesterday, everyday there. Go ahead Lord you suffered more than I could ever imagine to free us from sin and make us worthy to share eternal life. It’s wonderful to know there is an end to this road that leads to him. No sorrows, no pain, no suffering, no wars, no prejudice, no worries about money or anything. Just peace and joy that we will know forever his Light and Glory upon us. He loves us so much he sent his self, his son in the flesh. To let us have the grace by faith, by not seeing, to come to him. He knew before the beginning who would be called and accept, truly accept. I hope it’s you and more and more, in abundance, Amen Lord Jesus.
P.S. My mother said she is going to read the Bible, New Testament. That’s a blessing, pray she does.
I was looking into Christian questions and answers on gty.com about living in a family of unbelievers. My mom and dad are unbelievers right now. I and my brother have tried to witness several times. It has not worked. Because I am living here I have to deal with it daily. I wasn’t truly saved until the beginning of this year. God called me and I repented. I read my Bible everyday and do my best to glorify God. It’s not good enough. I have tried to keep them happy by attending their church, the Catholic church. I knew I didn’t want go a while back but, went for them, not honoring God first. So I will not be going anymore. I just can’t sit there and watch people who have no idea what it means to truly know God through his son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. 2Cor 6:11-18, 7:1 They are going through the ritual thinking if I’m good enough God will let me go to Heaven. Not so, it’s being stuck in a religion, just like the old religions, laws and ritualism. Not of God but, the devil, because you are blinded by them. They read a few words or passages from the Bible, but don’t tell you to seek him on your own. Through His Word. They are leading you in the ways of men. Holding to the laws of their ideals of what they think God wants them to do. The deception starts at the very top with the leader as God on earth. With all his high priests, bishops, priests directing the people in their man-made religion. I read a passage that says I am being ungracious with what God has brought me from. That I must fellowship with true believers. This will be very hard. Since my dad is dying, I have been convicted and cannot go through it anymore for them, because I know what a believer is.
And we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined these He also called, whom He called, these He also justified; these He also glorified. Romans 8-28-30
So it has to be for me. I can’t please anyone before God. Even if my dad is on his way to his death. I hope and pray he will be called too and my mom. I will just have to deal with the fallout (persecution). I have the Lord’s help to persevere.
I hope this means God through Jesus opened her eyes. I have not received a nasty email from her and I blocked the tare. So he will have to use her email to send the evil message if she shows him this first. So maybe she heeded the message God sent through me. I pray that is true. My letter to her follows:
I was pretty sure he would not relent and let her go. In her own words she bought into it.
It’s a beautiful lie; It’s a perfect denial…<3
It is posted on Msn, her live account messages
I hope other parents wake up and see what their kids are being bombarded with. He probably will buy her all the cds. She will be able to listen all the time with no look toward the good in front of her. God knock her into reality like you did Paul your Apostle.
Thy will be done, in Jesus’s name I pray.
It’s all up to the Lord in my daughter’s life and every one of my family in Lebanon. She went to see the concert in Byblos, Lebanon. It was called (3 seconds to mars) It is very evil. I knew in two minutes what they were all about. Taking kids to hell. Their music and especially the lyrics and pictures online have everything to show you what they are about, taking souls into the pit of hell. I was so upset. I begged my husband, please don’t let her go. Even after he read some of the awful lyrics and pictures I sent. “He said it is a bit disturbing and the pictures were not done by the band.” I said wake up. It’s right in your face. All he could say is butt out. I will make the decision if she goes or not. “He said what do you care what hole the banana peel falls into, you left.” Wow words of doom. He’s one of the tares and taking my kids with him unless the Lord has other plans. I cannot know but, I pray they will be saved from his wrath. The Lord knows we tried together very hard to open their eyes. Woe to them if they are not chosen.
I have to go on and spread the word to others who will hear and repent of their sins and
The Church by Grace will be raptured before the Tribulation. Live For The Lord. Maybe there are not many chances left, the pre-birth pangs have begun. Elect Christians will not have to endure the last stage of the Tribulation. Although some will be martyred. Either you are for God or for the devil. There are no other choices. Read and open your eyes. Be always ready and not deceived. No one knows the date or time. Every eye will see and know he is Lord at his Second Coming. Any other deceiver showing wonders and signs is of the devil and an abomination. So be very aware. He reveals to those who are hungry for his word. In his own words. Matthew 24:1-51
Parable of the sower, Parables of the Weeds and of the Mustard Seed and the Yeast. Parable of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl, Parable of the Net, A Prophet without Honor. Jesus explains to his Disciples what these all mean. You should give yourself a chance to read this and understand. Ask the Lord to open your eyes and repent your sins. All your sins of your lifetime and turn around from them and walk with the Lord only. He is your only way to God The Almighty. Read Matthew 24:1-51 about the Tribulation and the Second Coming of the Son of Man.
The River of Life
I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and soon I will give to everyone according to what he has done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Revelation 22:1-21.
If The Lord doesn’t save them maybe he has you in mind. I pray he does. Thank you Lord, for all your word has revealed to me. I am truly a sinner that is Blessed and not worthy. You sent your Only Son to cover the sins of the world for those who believe for those who truly repent and you have your hand upon. They cannot continue on the path they were on because you will not let them. Thanks be to Jesus Christ the only way to God. We are the Church, the elect that believed without seeing, through the Salvation of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit and God Almighty. Romans 6:6-14, Romans 8:28-39