I feel joyful and blessed.

I talked to my daughter last Sunday, for the first time since January. I am still so happy about it. It’s a start in the right direction. Yesterday’s announcement of a Hezbollah majority government. Pro-Syria, Iran, whatever, against Israel, God’s chosen people. All we can do is pray for everyone there. I hope my family there survives.

I told my husband he should repent his sins and trust in God to lead his life. I asked him to be sure he passed it onto the kids. I hope so. He said what was I saying, he is a sinner and demon controlled. I said that all I said was everyone is a sinner. We have our chance to turn our lives over to the Lord and live with him in eternity. He told me to stop. I said okay I will and I’ll pray for all of you. He said thanks. Everything is up to God and I know that. There is not a thing I can do without him helping me in leading my life.

As for that I came here November 10th 2010. A total mess in mental crisis. I had to actually get into care immediately because I was suicidal. From then to now he has worked miracles in my life. Before I thought dying was the answer to end my pain and agony. Now I am glad he called and I answered him to take over. I could not do it anymore myself. That is dealing with bipolar and PTSD. Then all my emotional problems of leaving a mess that they believe is all my fault. I have known all my life what it feels like to be belittled, sick or not. I did not imagine that and if I lost my mind and swore or called names. Am I any different from a normal person exposed to crazymaking. You bet not. If someone loves you and marries you it should be as you promised for better or worse. The worse did get better out of the abusive environment. I already said and most people know living with a bipolar is not easy. If you really care and learn how to help them by questioning all things to do with their condition. That is more than anything understanding and unabiding love. If you choose to crush them even more with ugly remarks and supply more ammo for them feeling hopeless and worthless. You know how to do it. Isolate them, give them no one to turn to. No allies, not even family. Everyone knows you’re crazy so they act the part as if you are. I have to say besides my immediate family there, I did get true caring from others. They just weren’t with me all the time or couldn’t take sides against the leaders of the pack.

I am not angry in case you were wondering. I just hope if someone reads this they can see life can change. Life can get better. This world is only temporary. It’s where we have our chance to convert to the Lord. God went away from Israel because they kept sinning against him over and over. They were worshipping idols. They had God right with them and  his prophets, still they disobeyed. He brought his son, Jesus in the flesh to witness to the world and taught his apostles. Everything right in front of their faces, miracles worked, time after time. He died for us so our sins could be forgiven. God will protect the Elect Christians. All we have to do is repent our sins, and devote our life to him.  He already knows who will or won’t. Is your name in the Book of Life? Have you been called or have you not asked to be forgiven and be devoted? Why would you take your chances or wait any longer? All we have to do is repent our sins, and devote our life to him.  Or not, and suffer eternally, as if we haven’t had enough yet? Life in abundance eternally or suffering eternally, not to hard a choice I would say.

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