How can you ever survive?

They want you to work, you get a job. Next thing you know they will cut your benefits. I am sorry but, I can’t live without having insurance to go the doctor nor can I afford to pay for it on what little I will make. Sure I can get my meds at a free clinic without insurance. I can get group therapy when I need individual. Do they really want mentally ill people to stay that way? If I am cancelled from Medicaid, how will the little I make cover any doctors visits? It already doesn’t cover hospitalization. I am trying to become independent but, they won’t let you. Who is going to hire me knowing I’m bipolar. That’s the only way to get health insurance, then it covers 30% on mental health and who knows on prescriptions I need everyday. So if I don’t tell I’m bipolar they will find out when I get my drugs.

The job I applied for pays very little and you can only work 10-30 hours a week without benefits. They know from the get-go you have a mental illness. Most of the people there are on social security also which I got turned down for because:  I could not get my hospitalization records from Lebanon. Then they said my illness is not serious enough.  

I can’t go to the free clinic anymore because I’ll have insurance. This world wants the mentally ill to stay dependent and then we are cheaters because we need help for the rest of our lives. Soon we’ll have all kinds of people living in the street with all kinds of mental issues, without meds after they keep cutting programs, won’t that be great. There are already many who don’t even get help or know where to go now. Those places will be gone too anyway.

I have to trust God to take care of me and others like me. You get stable then you face all this. This is what I wanted to do help others in my same situation. How can I when I won’t have benefits? I will be paying for doctor visits. They may cut my Medicaid and if they cut the free program I won’t be able to afford meds or therapy anyway. It’s a catch 22.

Thank God I have parents that let me live with them. I would be in a shelter, then on the street like many others.

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