Painful as it is I have to let go.

Well I have been waiting all this time for my daughter to remember she has a mother. Even a sick one. It’s not going to happen in this lifetime. I just have to quit thinking about her. She hates me because I was sick, doesn’t get bipolar. Thinks I was faking, being out of my mind. She didn’t ever know what her dad did to me, I’m sure. He would deny it anyway. I told him to tell her I would be on Aim Sunday at 1pm every week. I decided I can’t. I’ll just sit there and wait and she won’t show. How long does it take to forgive someone, I guess forever in my case. I ran away back here for help and decided not to return. I got accused of bettering my bipolar self and throwing her away like a candy wrapper. I don’t know if the hurt will ever end for me. I had no choice as I said before. Death or leaving, I wouldn’t be there anyway.

Going back to Lebanon was out of the question especially after the government fell. I have read online on the Lebanese sites and things are no better. No new government close to being formed. Two armies that both hate Israel, not to mention Syria and Iraq. Why are these people so dumb (prophesy). Once they attack God will protect Israel. If you hate Israel and the Jewish people you are sunk. He always did promise to get them back to their land. He has a covenant with Abraham and Moses, passed down through the generations. Israel is God’s chosen people with the rest of us Christians that live for him. I am not worried for me, but for others that don’t accept. When Jesus comes back their eyes will be opened and they will realize Jesus was sent as the son of God in the flesh to pay for our sins. I study everyday. I grow in his word and love everyday. I will be happy and await his return and no one knows the date or time, only God.

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