I want to be independent again. This can only happen if I take charge of me. I have mom and dad to take care of. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind. As I said I can’t stand the nit picky things, that drive me crazy.
I just have to argue every point. I feel I am very stable except when people try to, make me them. My mom said she never spent money on unnecessary things all her life. I bought two music tapes totalling $20.
I said before I want this one certain position. As far as I know, no one was been decided on yet. My brother says to be patient and that it takes time. He is one of my best references and has not heard a word yet. I wish I wasn’t bipolar and my dad says stop using it for an excuse. When will people realize when you argue with a bipolar you are upping their anxiety. All I want is a new pair of glasses. My mom says I am spending to fast. I say I am trying to work so I won’t. When is getting glasses an unnecessary expense. Mine are killing me they are all scratched up and bent, putting huge dents in my nose daily. It hurts darn it. I have to fight for everything, explain everything. I am just griping, it feels like old home week sometimes. Reminders of hurtful times with my husband. I don’t like it when people get extreme. Who wants to hear take all the money I gave you so far and spend it all? I am not spending that much. I get frustration, anxiety, and have to take pills. I had to go take my lamictal just now. Then later night-time meds. No breaks coming on those. Guess what tomorrow’s my birthday. I hope it’s a day without grouching. I can’t stand that. Mom saying I don’t need to go to the activity center everyday, but I want to. I want to show that I really want that job. I have to go where God is sending me and right now I feel it’s there. I am getting my glasses ordered tomorrow. I wanted two sets one regular prescription and one sunglass. I have to settle for a clip on the regular glasses because, it’s a waste. It was not to me, but compromise I must. GRRRRRR. For Steph. I miss you!
Update I got both. Thanks God.