How Dumb Can I Be

Here I thought my emails were getting through to my daughter. Well the previous one was read at 3:47 GMT time. My husband is reading my daughter’s email. She probably has not seen any of the ones I sent her. I know she was not awake at 3:47 am. When will I ever learn you can’t beat the devil’s influence. Poor my daughter she doesn’t even know what has hit her. An all-controlling person with no power at all, just over them under his roof. I am so not liking this at all. Maybe someday she will see the light with her own eyes and heart.

I feel like crying and wish I was gone to Heaven

Lord, Lord, Lord, I need you more than ever. My motor mouth won’t stop. It’s not bad things coming out. It’s things I feel deeply. I want my dad to stop being so mean at times and enjoy his last however many days on this earth. I want him to stop using your name in vain. I want him for sure in Heaven so I can see him eternally. The same for my mom when it’s her turn and all my family. The whole world if possible. We know that’s not going to happen.  

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: St. Matthew 7:13.

For strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, that leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. St. Matthew 7:14

I am going to church today and not worry about the bible studies. If they mention anything in church about the first of Genesis being storytales, I can’t go there any more. Right now I have to keep the family peace and Jesus knows my heart and soul anyway.

One thing I can’t understand and won’t on this earth, is how my daughter cannot find it in her heart to write a little note to her grandfather. How can you be alive and not care for people who are sick, mentally or physically. Where is the passion for the poor, for the lost, for all people out there suffering. I try to help but I can only do so much. As I sit and write I don’t feel angry, just anxiety. My bipolar is in overdrive emotionally.

Mom and I decided to give our gift from our neighbor to the Good Samaritans. So it is a gift that will keep on giving.