No Response from My Daughter

I am not surprised I did not hear a word. The last time I spoke to her was Jan 2010. I had to leave her father and the family because I my bipolar was uncontrolled  She still believes it to be my fault only. How can you hate your mother and still hate her when she was going through the worst time of her life? I have heard horror stories about people with bipolar not taking their meds. I did, I just wasn’t on the right ones until two and a half years later. Three psychiatrists no change except adding Invega (the zombie drug). That according to my husband was the best I ever was. I am still hurt because I had no choice but, to be the one to go. We lived in another country and I was in no shape to take care of anyone. I know, I know it was me too being to sensitive reacting to jokes at my expense, being ignored because they said they didn’t know what mood I was in. Well I lived it and being bipolar doesn’t make you stupid to people’s insults. I was in the bedroom with him when he did his worst. No one there except God, him and me, very bad times. I looked into his face and said why are you doing this to me? He said I don’t know. Today I’m just moping a bit. I want so much to feel her arms around me again. Telling me mom I love you like it used to be, but maybe never again. Jesus give strength today I’m feeling low.

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