I have to get a copy of my marriage license so I can get my driver’s license. Then I can get back to work. I went to church yesterday. I always feel good there. I try hard to feel happy and not think of things that make me sad. I think once I am out and meeting more Christians and people who need help, I won’t dwell so much on my daughter and stepson. I hope my husband and family are okay too. Even if to them I am a deserter. Oh, God I feel awful about this but, I could endure no more. Someday I hope my baby girl returns to me, if not here than in heaven. Same for my stepson who was always a love to me. Maybe we will all meet again. How am I to know I’m not the judge,  Jesus is and God.  I feel fearful of God but, that is normal and I hold tight to my beliefs and study to know more. I want to so I have something to share with others, something more.